Row row row ya boat.....

Rottnest Island

2012-01-03T23:22:00.004+08:00

A while back, I went to Rottnest Island for a long-needed break.

Ferry Trip (to and fro) = $72
Food = $0
Tour for Humpback Whale-watching = $56
Accomodation = $46
Approx total cost = $174

In the end, God worked His marvelous powers and gave me huge discounts and blessings.

Ferry Trip (to and fro) = $0
Food = $2 (the ice popsicle was sooo good)
Tour for Humpback Whale-watching = $20
Accomodation = $0
Total Cost = $22

I honestly don't really know how God made this trip so full of free stuff. And it wasn't just me, two of my friends had equally free ferry trip, accomodation and discounts on tour. The entire trip was a time of fellowship with friends and God, and rest from work and uni. It was definately my 'richest' and most blessed holiday, despite only being one day.

I was also rather thankful that none of us got hurt during the trip. Cz Rottnest Island is famous for tourist getting injured while riding bikes (cz it's really hilly and the roads are abit uneven). We rode the bikes for 6 hours (22km) and none of us got hurt! I even brought all the meds and first-aid, prepared to use my first-aid knowledge on the trip. Guess I didn't need them, just needed God. :)

To add to the miracles, the tour guide told us that we were not guaranteed to see whales, cz whales come and go when they want. And it's actually quite rare to be able to see whales there. So my friends and I prayed to see a whale on the boat, and we saw two! A mother whale was teaching a baby whale to do tricks in the sea, like jumping up and flipping over, etc. It was truly amazing to see such a sight, even the tour guide was excited.

God, thanks for giving me such a blessed trip, thanks for preparing everything for us and for being so so so gracious.

Relieving or Restoring

2011-12-18T00:58:00.004+08:00

Today someone shared on how as christians, we would usually have this sense of need to help others.
Yesthatseemstobeverytruetome.
And often, we are taken granted of (in a sense), and we end up hurt.
Yesthatseenstobeverytruetome.
And he said that instead of providing our help (which may only be temporary relieve for the person, but the problem isn't exactly solved), we should offer restoration (giving the person what he/she truly needs - Jesus Christ). Because relieve only dampens the problem for a short while whilst restoration gets them to God, and solves the problem.

Galatians 6:1 - ''Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted.''

BUT the problem is (there always is a problem) how do I know how to restore the person instead of merely providing temporary relieve? How do I know if my actions are relieving or restoring?

Idols

2011-11-26T23:17:00.003+08:00

Went over to my dad's house again. He took me to see his prized possessions. Idols. So many idols. Cabinets and cabinets of them. They were items that he collected for years. Teapots, crystals, tea leaves, statues of gods.

My hands were itching all over. I want to tear all of them down. I wanted to push the cabinets and make all the idols fall and smash on the floor.

But obviously I didn't.

Now as I reflect how I angry I felt when I saw all the idols, I remember. Hey. Idols arent just physical items. Idols mean placing something -anything above God. Which includes my studies, work, even my family.

Wow, how could I judge my dad for having idols when I have idols in my life too - studies, work, family.

Romans 2:23 - You who boast in the Law, through your breaking the Law, do you dishonour God?

Matthew 7:3 - Why do you look at the speck in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?

How can I judge when I myself fall in this area.

Sorry God. :(

Marriage

2011-07-04T01:12:00.003+08:00

Imagine 2 people. Totally in love with each other. So much so that they decided to get married.

But then....

Imagine this same couple, whereby overtime, something occured along the line and one side of marriage was unfaithful.

The beans was spilled to the other side. The marriage crumbles.

Intense grief overtakes the faithful one.

Betrayal. Adultery. Selfishness.

Do you realise, that this can be reflect with us and God as well?

Marriage (and sex) was suppose to symbolize the unity of us with Himself (Ephesians 5:31-32). Therefore, when we accept Jesus as the Christ, the Messiah, God's perfect Son, we are united to the Father.

The thing is, sometimes man becomes unfaithful, and begin to worship others apart from God. We don't put Him first, we don't do His will, we don't acknowledge that He is Almighty God.

Isn't that where 'the effects of divorce' comes in?

Intense grief.

Betrayal. Adultery. Selfishness

Coming from my background, I do know at least to some extend, of how unimaginably horrible a divorce is. Even more so, I've heard testimonies of issues regarding divorce.

Now let me tell you, if a divorce could hurt man so much so that life seems meaningless, what more when we are unfaithful to God.

God loves us way more than anyone could ever love us. Being unfaithful to Him after He sent Himself on the cross to pay for our punishment, it's just the biggest fattest ugliest deal of intense grief for God and betrayal, adultery, and selfishness from us.

Friends, don't ignore God anymore while He gives us a second chance. Put Him first. Or He will ignore you when the time comes.

Matthew 7:21 - 'Not everyone who says to Me, ''Lord, Lord,'' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of my Father who is in Heaven will enter'.

H2o

2011-06-08T23:11:00.002+08:00

Yesterday, I got back from Harbour Town at night and realised that my house's water supply has been cut off (let's not talk about the cause). I literally turned on every single tap in the house, not a drop of water was found. I was alone at home so I frantically texted my sis, her bf (WY), and my housemate Jaclyn to alert them on this.

Thoughts going through my head:

cannot shower

cannot flush toilet

cannot wash dishes

cannot wash clothes

cannot water plants

cannot even drink water

Shortly after, WY called to tell me that Water Corporation (our lovely water supplier) will require 3 working days to reconnect our water supply.

3 freaking long days. I cried. How would I survive without water? Who can survive without water?

Yes I was feeling scared.

A song popped out of my lips amidst all this chaos in my mind though.

'It is good to give thanks to the Lord and sing praises to Your Name, O Most High,
To declare Your loving kindness in the morning and Your faithfulness everynight.'

It was a song I learnt years ago from Praise Kids Church. This phrase is even found in Psalms 92: 1-2.

About an hour later, Jaclyn arrived home from work. She too was frantic and started to call her friends living nearby, asking for help. After that, we started talking about how important water is, how it is more important than gas or electricity.

Out of impulse (sort of), I began reciting a verse. 'Seek first the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and He will give you all that you need.' Jaclyn and I both ended the verse with 'Matthew 6:33'. I then looked up to God, 'God, this is what we really need - water'.

IMMEDIATELY after that, we heard water running nearby.

We both screamed and jumped and rushed to the source. Couldn't believe it at first, I actually thought the water was coming from our neighbour's house. I was such a fool.

'Can you hear water?!! Can you hear that sound?! Is that really water??!!!!'

I reached to the bathroom tap. Felt excited, had faith, but a small part of me didn't know what to expect. I turned the tap on.

THERE WAS WATER FLOWING OUT.

And it wasn't like a drop or two. There was so much water flowing out, the tap looked as if it would explode.

Isn't God just plain marvelous, wonderful, amazing, gracious. He heard my cry, He kept to His Word.

Isaiah 40:8 - 'The grass withers, the flower fades, but the Word of our God stands forever.'

See, ya just gotta have a lil bit of faith. And seek God.

Oh btw, memorizing God's Word is a good idea. :)

Easter Day

2011-04-25T17:56:00.004+08:00

Happy Easter!!!!

Okies so I know I'm a day late, but I was at Easter camp. =D

(sorry, bad photo quality. we were in Crystal Cave. )

A friend told me this during Easter camp:

If you look around, you'll see that the world focuses so much on themselves (eg: on fortune, on fashion, on what people think about them, on music) cz that's where they get their confidence from. They gotta be rich, or have nice clothes, or be popular, or listen to a particular band to have that level of self-esteem that they want to reach. But that's why there's so much corruption in this world. Cz they focus on themselves only. That's why there's so much hate and anger and sadness and jealously etc. Cz everything is focused on self.

But, when you receive Christ as your personal Lord and Savior, your source of confidence becomes on the Lord. Your focus becomes to serve God and the people around you, and everything else just falls away. Nothing else matters. Not fortune, not fashion, not popularity, not music etc. Thoughts on elevating your self-esteem just disappears. Cz you don't need those for confidence. You have confidence through God, knowing that He'll take care of you. That's why your focus is on the people around you, to show God's love to them.

Hope this helps in your walk with God, in some ways, cz it did for me. =)

God has His plans, even for the little baby

2011-01-04T00:51:00.005+08:00

Today I received devastating news. My colleague lost her baby. She was 5 months pregnant man. 5 months.

Imagine the feeling of loss and grief. And throughout today, I've wondered many times: 'why God?' She was the perfect person to be a parent. I've never seen anyone controlling kids as well as she does. And she's one of the most joyful, smiley person I've ever met. Adding onto that, she was incredibly excited over her pregnancy. Like seriously, not 1 week pass by when I don't see her face lighting up with joy when she talks about the baby. Moreover, the entire staff in KIS were just as excited as she was. Almost everytime someone pass by her, they would comment about her belly. 'Your belly is beginning to show!', and a huge grin would be plastered on her face.

Today was the first day of going back to KIS after a 3 week holiday. All the staff were talking about the disheartening news. And as I pondered on my original question, I remembered what I read yesterday during devotion:

Things happen not because we don't have enough faith, or because we do not pray enough. God is in control of everything and He has His own plans, for the better. And nothing we can do can change God's plans.

Isaiah 46:10 - I make known the end from the beginning, from ancient times, what is still to come. I say ' My purpose will stand, and I will do all that I please.'

I may not know why God did what He did, but I am assured that He knows what He's doing. And I hope my dear colleague knows that too.

Submission

2010-12-19T00:09:00.003+08:00

If it's one thing I've learnt in an unpleasant 5 minutes car-ride with a specific someone, it's to lay down my dreams, hopes, passion, and grudges in submission to do what's ought to be done.

I'm not liking you very much. I don't get your jokes and you have the power to crush what I love.

But because you're not my favourite person, I learn to submit to you.

Was my work all in vain?

2010-10-31T01:04:00.003+08:00

1 Thessalonians 3:5 - For this reason, when I could bear it no longer, I sent to learn about your faith, for fear that somehow the tempter had tempted you and our labor would be in vain.

i feel at a loss. i spent so much training, time, effort, tears, prayers into this. there were even conflicts. all these were suppose to assist in building our family up.

when paul left the thessalonians church, he left them in a totally unprepared situation. the thessalonians were new believers, yet they continued to grow in faith. they even became an example to the christians in greece (1 thessalonians 1:7)

when i left, i did not leave the family unprepared. i spent months preparing and training and praying. indeed it was not in the best situation, but i saw potential there for growth in numbers. there were so many opportunities. now it's all gone.

my work was all in vain.

about 5 years ago, this exact same thing happened. there was a leader, she left and then our family broke apart and we went our seperate ways.

about 2 years ago, i had this strong determination to gather the passionate and willing, and to rebuild what we had dismissed. there were hard times. but we managed to pull through and stick together for 2 years.

until i left.

then our family broke apart again and we went our seperate ways.

'history repeats itself'. why is this happening? there were explanations, but all i could hear was opportunities being dismissed and forgotten.

could you see their potential like i could?

here's a tip, before you leave, make sure all your debts are paid, and that all your responsibilities are passed down to another potential and passionate.

i have now 3 months, to try and recover back what was yet again dismissed. may the Lord be my guide.

(photo extracted from http://www.flickr.com/photos/82893918@N00/310808981)

Back to basics

2010-10-31T00:37:00.003+08:00

sometimes we get so busy with trying to be holy in front of others that we forget what was suppose to be the main focus. sometimes we focus on getting into ministries, giving tithe and offerings, training of leadership. these are all natural when it comes to christianity, these are the 'add-ons' that we should have.

but ultimately, everything centres on this:

John 3:16 - For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life.

Hebrews 10:26 - Dear friends, if we deliberately continue sinning after we have received a full knowledge of the truth, there is no other sacrifice that will cover these sins.

christianity isn't about being holy. it's about believing, accepting, and following Jesus Christ's way.

being holy, it's an add-on to christianity. =)

Graduated Demons

2010-10-28T16:38:00.002+08:00

So IN HELL Academy 3 Demons just Graduated and before sending them to the world the Devil would like to know their plans

Devil:
So Demon (1) what have you got planed to destroy the relationship between God and Humans.

Demon(1):
I'm going to tell them that there is no such thing as a God and that when you die you just fade out of the world

Devil:
*nods his head* I see, I see ( not so good, everybody knows there is a God)

Devil:
How about you Demon(2) what are your plans?

Demon(2):
I'm going to tell the humans that if you worship the devil they can have anything they desire form being famous to being a billionare

Devil:
*nods his head* I see I see (still not good enough the humans know God will bless them even more if they follow Jesus)

Devil:
so Demon(3) how about you ? ( hoping for a good plan)

Demon(3):
I'm going to tell the Humans there is a God and there exist a place called Heaven and Hell. But i'm also going to tell them they have NO RUSH IN ACCEPTING JESUS IN THEIR LIFE, THEY CAN TAKE ALL THE TIME THEY NEED. DOING ALL THE THINGS THEY WANT TO DO, NO RUSH AT ALL

Devil:
*smiles* That is a Wonderful plan ! Now this is a true graduate!!

Message:
Quite True also, the devil is smart and he knows our weakness, sometimes we say " one day i'm going to do that" well honestly that "one day" ,may never come right? :P

Highlight:
Procrastinating is the Problem

(entire post extracted from http://ronaldfooronald.tumblr.com/)

[sorry ronald, for stealing this. =)]

Tired

2010-10-14T23:42:00.005+08:00

(photo by http://nickersandinkblog.blogspot.com)

everyone's been tired before. be it physically tired, mentally, emotionally or spiritually. being tired is seen as normal and everyone goes through it in life.

however, as christians we should not be spiritually tired. why? because when we receive Christ into our lives, we are given a new spirit, thus it is said that we are spiritually born again. this new spirit given to us by God is meant to last for eternity, even while we are in heaven. in heaven, we are given new bodies, but not spirits. and this spirit, because it given by God specially for us, should not grow weary and tired.

Jesus, He was never tired spiritually. sure He got tired physically (John 4:6 “Jacob’s well was there, and Jesus, tired as he was from the journey, sat down by the well. It was about noon.”). but Jesus was not spiritually tired.

Jesus always retreated to pray in isolated areas, away from society, away from the things of the world. He always retreated to pray before He got spiritually tired. because well, God was His source of strength.

Mark 1:35 “And early in the morning, while it was still dark, He arose and went out and departed to a lonely place, and was praying there.”

Mark 6:46 “And after bidding them farewell, he departed to the mountain to pray.”

Luke 6:12 “And it was at this time that He went off to the mountain to pray, and He spent the whole night in prayer to God.”

Luke 5:16 “But He Himself would often slip away to the wilderness and pray.”

indeed, christians get tired easily, because we try so hard to please God and the devil tries to prevent us from doing that.

but

Matthew 11:28-30 "Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

retreat and pray to God, before you get tired.

<3>

Life. Unpredictability. Uncertainty.

2010-10-13T20:09:00.004+08:00

the news of tragedy regarding steffi's family came so shockingly sudden. wow. i can't imagine how much pain this is causing her right now. =( wish i was back in kk right now so i can hug her and share the sorrow with her without the distance. but..i'm in perth . =( gonna try give her a call tomorrow...funeral's tomorrow. =(

odd, after i received this news, i was reminded once again of how fragile and unpredictable life is. the people you love around you, they might be gone the next moment and you'll never see them again. the ones you had a fight with yesterday, they might vanish from the face of the earth tomorrow. the future is so uncertain, so unseen.

as christians, we always say 'i'll preach tomorrow. i'll love tomorrow. i'll.......' but what if there is no tomorrow for one of your loved ones who is an unbeliever?

i got freaked out when God reminded me of how i may not have alot of time left to preach to the ppl i love around me. life is so uncertain, God can decide to take someone i love away from me. and that person would be gone as an unbeliever.

knowing if i had missed the opportunity to share God's love and be used as a vessel to save, would crush my heart. knowing that just because i was afraid of rejection, afraid of sharing, and hence someone is left to burn in everlasting fire would cause........unexplainable horiffic guilt to overwhelm.

Luke 9:61-62 = Another said "Yes Lord, I will follow you, but first, let me say goodbye to my family." But Jesus told him. "Anyone who puts a hand to the plow and then looks back is not fit for the Kingdom of God."

'..anyone who puts a hand to the plow and then looks back...'

don't tell God you want to serve Him (put your hand into the plow), but say you want to serve Him later (look back). serve Him now. start preaching now. start loving now. time is limited.

<3

Orientation

2010-07-26T20:11:00.002+08:00

it saddens me when i go to passion booth during orientation and see so little volunteers. moreover, the volunteers are there to talk among themselves, not to reap the harvest.

don't get me wrong, i'm not judging. i'm not pointing fingers.

but i just don't see why.

can't we all put aside our fear, our timid-ness? can't we put aside jokes for a while, can't we chat later at night (where events are organized for us to chat!!)? can't we work for God for a bit even while we are tired? can't we layout our schedule and make time, 4 hours a day is all it takes.

if a lil courage, a lil tiredness, a lil sacrifice can save someone, why not? why not? cz Jesus had to DIE to save us. and all He is asking from us now is to have courage, all He is asking us to do is to walk up to ppl and tell them about passion.

it is real. people do go to hell. and everytime one person goes pass me without a passion brochure, i feel horrible. cz God is depending on us to reap the harvest. but we are not doing it.

we always pray and fast for revival. but we never asked God how God wants to use us for our nation to be save. we always depend on God, rely on God, which is good. but just praying isn't gonna do anything. God wants us to take some action as well.

don't tell me you're afraid you'll get rejected by the people walking pass. they won't kill you, but if you don't go up to them and tell them about passion, they might end up in hell.

show me how to love like You have love me. break my heart for what breaks Yours, everything I am for your Kingdom's cause (Hosanna, Hillsongs)

my greatest honor would always be to serve my Lord and King (God of my Forever, City Harvest Church)

come on people. we are alive for a reason, and that is for God.

<3

Investing without slipping.

2010-05-10T19:33:00.002+08:00

you know, when we are being surrounded by godly people, we tend to be more 'godly'. when we're surrounded with positive people, we tend to be more positive. it's the whole influence thing. whoever you spend more time with, you'll be like them more.

however we are called to 'invest' in people, and obviously invest in those who are more to the negative side than the positive side.

how then do we invest in others without ourselves falling astray, without giving into the ways of the world, when we are suppose to invest in those astrayed, following the ways of the world-people?

how do we stay strong and stand our ground and continue pleasing God when others are doing all kinds of undesirable things before God?

how do you influence them without getting yourself influenced and shaken by the easy-way-out, ways of the world?

how do you be the stronger character?

i've often viewed investing into people as being in a spiritual war zone. it's dangerous, we are fighting against the unseen. but God is on our side.

In You we trust.

One more for Jesus

2010-04-08T01:07:00.003+08:00

for easter celebration/ easter carnival, i was thinking of inviting my friend. but i was kinda skeptical about it cz he's a guy and i would have to jaga him throughout the whole celebration and also during carnival, and people might think that we are more than just friends, when in actual fact he is already attached.

so, i was thinking and praying about this for a really long time, then the night before easter celebration, i msged him, asking him to come. at midnight, he replied me saying he'll come, and maybe bring a few friends along.

fwahhh gembira...

so the next morning, he and 2 others came to easter celebration. before they came, one of the usher asked me and my friend if we could give up our seat for others (cz there wasn't enough place for visitors to seat), but i told him i had 3 visitors coming and i already book places for them to seat. so when they came, another usher asked me if i could move to seat at the back and let the visitors seat at my place. but before he got a chance to ask me, the previous usher informed him that i had vistiors. wah, so relieved i didn't need to ask my visitors to move seats. if not, paiseh............

then during altar call, i had a tugging thought in my mind to ask the 3 visitors if they wanted to go up front to be prayed for. but i scared paiseh, so i kept praying and praying. and no matter how much i prayed during altar call, i kept feeling that need to ask them. so i asked them if they wanted to go up front. at first, all of them said no, then my friend kept saying something like , shy shy, something like that. so i told him i'll go up front with him la, then he went up front to be prayed for. i felt so glad. when one comes home, heaven rejoices. =)

after he was prayed for, he asked me (him me yan pin)

there's a camp is there? when is it?
today.. bus leaves at 3pm.
but it's 12.45pm now..
you wanna come? wanna come?
no time to pack lo.
there's still time. you can go home now and pack and come back by 3 for the bus.
it takes at least half an hour to get to my house. i live very far from here.
or else, you can sign up for camp now, then at night, i'll arrange someone to bring you home to pack and bring you back to camp?
O.o

so he went to camp. and from what he told me, he really enjoyed it. now he's asking his parents if he can join cell group every friday night. praise God man, really praise God.

and to think i almost didn't invite him to easter celebration.

bottom line:

if God asks you to do something, just do it, no mater how paiseh or how stupid. one more for Jesus!

I love you

2010-03-25T20:16:00.003+08:00

it's easy to say those words 'i love you' to someone. we say it all the time. we say it everyday. to our family members, to our friends, to our bf/gf. but when something goes wrong and conflicts occur, we don't say 'i love you' anymore. we say 'i hate you'.

1 Corinthians 13 : 4-8 = Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails...

note that everytime we say 'i love you' to someone, we're saying all of it in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8. we are promising the other person that we'll be patient, that we'll be kind etc.

so don't go round saying to everyone 'i love you' without meaning what 1 Corinthians 13 said.

and don't let this post hinder any of you from saying 'i love you' to people, however, mean what you say when you say 'i love you'. and when conflicts occur, don't 'forget' about your 'i love you's.

=) come, let us strive to love our neighbours.

Wilson's farewell

2010-03-19T13:14:00.002+08:00

you had to leave so suddenly. =( sorry couldn't send you of at airport. it was just too early in the morning. go airport at 4am whattt....

(farewell dinner)

(sabo wilson at beveridge guys house)

(wilson : ''ei, seriously, i wanna vomit already" *make puke sounds*)

bye wilson. =( see you if i see you. fb ya! >.< take care friend..

For the acceptance of Him

2010-03-19T01:52:00.006+08:00

i know my spm results are really very disappointing. and i expected alot more than what i got. and i know that everyone else around me expected alot more from me. and i know that i have disappointed practically everyone,

but i realised that i shouldn't be doing things for the acceptance of myself or the people around me, but for the acceptance of God.

while i was preparing for spm, i told God, 'i wanna do this for You'. i wanted to do my best in this final exam, to give every strength i've got to just be able to say those words 'i did this for You God', to make God proud of me.

and i did give my best. i put every ounce of strength and of faith into studying and praying. and i really believed i would get those grades that forecast showed (5As).

but when the result came, i was ashamed. that i was a christian, little Christ, but i was not setting an example in my grades. i was ashamed that spiritually i'm well but educationally i'm not. i felt guilty before God, for getting horrible grades when He has created me to be excellent in everything that i do, that i may please Him.

but after devotion, i realised that in the beginning i wasn't seeking to please myself or the people around me with my grades, i was seeking to please God. so i shouldn't be feeling downcast or ashamed with my grades, because all that matters is whether God is pleased with me or not (and He is. =D )

when you do the things you do, don't seek for the acceptance of men. because that will only pull you down and make you weary and bring you away from God. but if you seek for the acceptance of God, that will be all that matters. (Chambers, March 17)

and i tell you guys, when you get the feeling that God is happy with all your efforts, you won't care about what others think of your work. because all that matters would be what God thinks. and pleasing God is enough the motivation to do greater things for Him.

it is 2.30am and i need to wake up at 3.30am later!! O.o *tidur* good thing no class tomorrow. haha....

This is what i call an awesome dance.

2010-03-17T23:32:00.000+08:00

It sucks

2010-03-17T12:10:00.002+08:00

it sucks. when you feel as though your dad don't really care about you. when your dad isn't a christian. when you feel horrible during worship because your dad might not end up in heaven. when you keep getting the conciousness to stay in touch with your dad because he might not have anyone else to minister to him about God. but when you try to stay in touch with your dad, he blows it and implys that he malas keep in touch with you.

it sucks to come from a divorced family.

but i realised, this isn't about me. this is about God.

it must suck for God. that He created every living thing uniquely wonderful. He designed nature to be breath-takingly marvelously beautiful. He rules over all the mountains, the seas, the planets, the universe. He sent His only Beloved Son to bear our guilt, but man don't even acknowledge Him. instead, man curse God.

so how am i suppose to bring my dad to Christ? =( when my dad don't even seem like he care to keep in touch with me.

Emo thoughts

2010-03-13T12:24:00.003+08:00

that does it. i do not want to know about anyone else's spm result except for hannah's. my instincts were right. my results are really very bad. =( don't ask me what my results are. i won't tell you anyway. *enters into emo zone*

i'm also wondering what would happen to eklektos. is eklektos ready yet for another time of transistion? what would be the outcome?

why does it has to be now? i feel powerless, stuck in aussie here unable to do anything, to help anything. =( gonna miss you, CL..

never expected any of these to happen. i guess it's all up to God's timing and planning. *sigh*

Leaving

2010-02-23T00:17:00.004+08:00

Announcement:

I am leaving to perth tomorrow to study.

I probably won't be online for a while due to the internet connection not being set yet at the place where i'll be staying.. just so you guys know. =)

Love yourself

2010-02-20T14:54:00.003+08:00

i know this is a bit harsh, but it must be said.

if you really loved yourself you wouldn't love the pleasures of present time, instead you would love discipline, hardwork, drudgery and so on.

take junk food for example. junk food is one of the pleasures of present time, period. however, if you loved yourself, you would watch your eating before you die from too much junk food. because junk food kills.

same goes to your spiritual life. sining is also one pleasure of the present time. everyone love giving in to temptation and everyone love to sin, because it makes us feel good. however, if you loved yourself, you would force yourself to be in discipline to not give in to temptations, you would run from sin. if you loved yourself, you would know that sin kills.

what will it take for the people to understand?

loving yourself means taking care of yourself, not giving yourself the short pleasures in life so you're temporarily happy.

loving yourself means not seeking what life has to offer but instead seeking what God's plan is for your life. because if you seek life you will be discouraged and be in despair. God's plan is always greater.

Romans 2:7-8 - To those who by persistence in doing good seek glory, honor and immortality, he will give eternal life. But for those who are self-seeking and who reject the truth and follow evil, there will be wrath and anger.

it is really up to you if you want to love yourself or if you want to love the pleasures of life. but know what awaits you later. don't cry when it's too late.

Jeremiah 29:13 - You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

sorry if this post is offensive to anyone..

Youtube random-ness

2010-02-01T12:07:00.002+08:00

someone challenged this guy to "write/record a song using only voice and everyday household items as instruments. not real ones".

i think he did an awesome job. with the lyrics as well. haha

paper animation. made of only cardboard, paper, pencil, glue and tape. o.o

Cz you're hot then you're cold.....

2010-01-02T00:51:00.000+08:00

you guys know how it feels like when you just went to some youth camp and get all fired up for God there, but then like 1 month later the passion disappears?

and how some people blame it on God, oh God didn't make enough miracles for the fire to continue burning.

or how some people blame it on their life. when my life is great and all is going well, i praise God. when my life is down to the pits and nothing is going my way, i don't acknowlegde my 'relationship' with God. my 'relationship' with God floats along with my life.

or how some people blame it on the church. oh worship team isn't doing a good enough job, therefore cannot worship with whole heart, therefore fire die lo..

or how some people blame it on other people, other people not being so excited for God, meh i also same lo..

if christians use those excuse for our fire to die down, then are we really worshippers of Christ? or are we only worshippers every few times per year when got planetshakers conference or only when got youth camp?

i'm not saying it's wrong that we get all excited for God during big youth events. i'm saying that after all those events, it is up to us to fan the flame. God is always speaking to us, but how come only during big youth events can we hear Him?

God is not to be blamed, nor the church, nor other people. if we are really christians, then it would be a relationship with Christ only, that doesn't include how awesome the worship team is, how awesome the speaker is, how fired up or friends are. if we are really christians, we would stand for Christ, passion burning for Him, throughout our lives. not during big youth events.

come brothers and sisters. i don't think God deserve to be mistreated this way. be real in your relationship with God.

quote rachel soh : 'was what you said on the altar real? or was it just an outburst of emotions?'

2010

2010-01-01T23:25:00.005+08:00

2009. what about 2009? i don't know.. if i had a choice of editing my year, i probably won't edit alot. i thought that this year was pretty cool. ups and downs were there, but there is a lesson behind everything practically everytime.

like dropping class to a class of 'pilaks'. some may not agree with me but i actually love my class. being surrounded by 'low-class' malay-oriented people, i learnt their values and their ways. saw the difference between the chinese and the malays, why they contradict each other so much.

i love my class. they're not so lovable sometimes but they're family, we're family. one thing i love so much about them is the spirit of friendship. when one is in need, practically everyone lends a helping hand. when one is betrayed, the whole group of friends feels betrayed. when one cries, all cries. when one laughs, all laughs. when one fight, all fight. (okay maybe this isn't so nice, but still. they're willing to sacrifice getting suspended to protect their friends?)

you will never see such friendship in a s1-chinese infested class.

another would be jons being president and me being vice for seekers. although everyone have seen the way jons behaved all through the year and how he threw his responsibilities away and backslid alot, i'm thankful that he was president instead of me. at one point, i admit i really wanted to be 'president' (because of the kokum marks factor..) and i knew i deserved it, but calvin's words kept echoing in my brain. (freaky..) 'he is still your leader, don't let others belittle him. God choosed him.'

i guess that contributed to me defending jons alot when others mocked him.. =( anyway, i'm thankful he's president. because. if i was made president and him as my vice (there were only 2 candidates) he probably would have still backslided. and i probably wouldn't care so much. but because he is my leader, thats why i cared. =)

i still have alot to say but i'll confuse and bore all my readers to sleep. so i won't do that. XD

there are issues whereby i wished i could changed it but i won't let it out here. all also issue sensitive. later people come up to me and punch me in the face or something. XD -.-

okay.. 2009 resolutions!
[/ judging by my forecast. XD] 4As in SPM, no D
[/] sleep earlier
[] learn cooking?
[/] friendlier to newbies in eklektos
[/ right up till like the last few months of 2009. =(] be more optimistic

oppsies i failed to fulfill my third resolution. =(

2010 resolutions!! [haven't really thought about it.. ]
[] learn cooking?
[] somebody teach me guitar!! please!!
[] learn howda make my fingers 'flow' on the piano.
[] sleep early wake up early.
[] don't let people get to me so easily.
[] be more optimistic.
[] never get my priorities wrong. God first, mom second.
[] find out my identity. find out who i am and what i believe in.
[] leave my past behind.
[] not to be influenced by society that simply.
[] devotion. twice, every single day.
[] not to rush through my devotion.
[] find that inner peace and joy from God.
[] never let that inner peace and joy from God to go away.
[] stop living for myself, instead live everyday for God.
[] stop uplifting self.
[] jangan terburu-buru when making a decision. refer to God.
[] being more sensitive to God.
[] being even more compassionate and forgiving but not naive (if that's possible..)

wow looks like a really long list. >.< it's not gonna be easy keeping this..

but with God i can. =D

philippians 3:13-14 = 13 No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not acheived it, but I focus on this one thing. Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, 14 I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.

The failed stalk...

2010-01-01T22:54:00.002+08:00

jeson me alex janzen

*enters into restaurant with alex and janzen*
hey isn't that apple's brother? jeson ah?
O.o
O.o
*sits in a corner jeson can't see us*
[msging]
hello ex! family gathering?
no, eating with aunt and cousin and grandma and sis and bro. big sis, mom and daddy not here.. and how you know?
why isn't apple in the family gathering.. =(
not really family gathering. mummy and daddy not here. and how you know?
careful not to let your food get on your light blue shirt..
how the.. where are you?! lols!
can you teleport your float to my place? (he was drinking float..)
sure if i know where you are
*sees 2 kids from jeson's table go toilet*
why did you allow those 2 little kids to go toilet by themselves unattended?!
that's my bro and cousin. lols. i didn't even know they went. you can help me watch over ma.. seriously.. where are you?!
as a responsible older brother, you should take care of your younger siblings and not leave them unattended. my spirit is with you, ex. =)
yeah right.. i see you! haha! what did that avatar said? something like i see you right? haha..
*moments later*
*appears at the window next to jeson*

I don't wanna be alonee...

2009-12-30T22:31:00.003+08:00

anyone wanna whisk me off for new year eve? i have absolutely nothing planned. mom has dinner, sis is in singapore with boyfriend, davina is spending it with her aunt's family, hannah's in US, eklektos doesn't seem to be planning any countdown..... =(

someone take me out!!!!!!!!!

or i'll just spend it alone at home with my dog..or with my 'ex', jeson..

so retarded, nothing to do on new year eve. first time oh.. like..so lonely....-.-

2009-12-29T20:57:00.003+08:00

i've been sick since christmas day and it's 29th dec already. gahh.. three days. -.- been having unbearable stomach ache right up to the point of not being able to entertain guest in my house, having difficulty in sleeping due to pain and being woken up despite lack of rest due to pain.

symptoms:
stomach ache..
feeling hungry all the time
lost of appetite in food even when starving
feel like vomitting when i partake food
diarrhoea

doctor said it was food poisoning (plus gastric?).

doctor me

food poisoning for three days??!!
it happens..
you need a jab..
what??! why..... =(
haha *gets needle ready*
is it gonna hurt? =(
no..
are you really really sure?
yes.. *ketawa*
*after jab*
so was it painful?
yes... -.-

so, few days left then back to school. =)
i..finished..spm... heheheheheheh XD
O.o you did? you look like form 2...
yes! thank you. XD

very friendly doctor. the fee was unreasonably high though. rm100. -.-

at least i got sick during christmas which is right after dance prax. it would be horrible if i was sick when dance prax. praise God!

Santa Claus

2009-12-28T23:05:00.005+08:00

alright so i've been wanting to do research about santa claus (also known as sinterklaaus) since last year christmas, and my efforts were only till halfway. so i made myself promise myself to do research about the guy again.

this is what i got..

the modern figure of santa claus is inspired primarily by saint nicholas. the name 'santa claus' or 'sinterklaaus' came from saint nicholas, which over the centuries, had evolved to santa claus or sinterklaaus or father christmas and many other names.

saint nicholas (4th century greek christian bishop) was famous for giving gifts and helping the needy. some believed that the existence of santa claus was so that children would remember saint nicholas.

after that, the image of santa claus was edited and modified over and over again to suit society.

'santa claus' was later in shown in parallel lines with odin (a god of north germany). both had beards, had some eight-legged-horned animal that flies (also known as reindeer for santa, sleipnir for odin) and had a cloth bag carried by their servants to capture naughty children.

according to odin tales, children would leave carrots, straw or sugar by their chimney for sleipnir the flying horse to eat and odin would reward their kindness by replacing the food they left for gifts and candy.

that contributed to the 'leave your stockings by the chimney!!' also, it was said that saint nicholas use to toss coins into windows and when windows were found shut, he would toss them down the chimney.

and so every christmas, many people look forward to receiving presents and gifts. either from 'santa' or 'odin' depending on what they believe in.

the meaning of christmas is hardly felt by the people around us. instead of focusing on the most precious gift (Jesus), alot focus on earthly gifts. =(

I'm angry at you.

2009-12-27T17:18:00.004+08:00

GROW UP LA PLEASE!!!!!!!!

the world doesn't revolve around you. stop terrifying us with your tantrumps when you can't get what you want. i don't even know what you want.

you want me to treat you like a baby is it?

cz i just might..

oh gugu gaga..

you don't even know sufficient words to scold me and had to resort to the plain 'bla bla bla' line.

-.-

Straw skirt

2009-12-21T00:08:00.002+08:00

attended a hawaiian themed party just now. O.o it was the usual anual year-end-party at datuk paul's house. the only thing different was the theme. every year it had been formal, this year it's hawaii.. -.-

i was kinda left with no choice (along with my sis and cousin, mel) and had to wear a straw skirt to the party. they got 20 straw skirts for the staff to wear. although i'm not a staff but my mom is. so, show face la, kena paksa also.. -.-

the straw skirt was so itchy.. -.-

the garland was so itchy.. -.-

don't like dailies contact lenses. makes vision blurry and my eyes tired.

.....

.....

.....

.....

.....

i don't know what it was that happened during the party (actually, before the party) but, just a thought.

alot of girls out there dresses in super short shorts and super short skirts with shirts that are semi-transparent and have their hair up in the currently-in-fashion bun and gladiator 4-inch heels every single day. maybe it's cz they wanna keep up with fashion. maybe it's because they wanna look good. or it could be maybe because they feel so insecure and they wanna fit in and they are afraid that if they don't show their legs off enough or if their hair is not right, they'll not fit in. maybe they's afraid of being left behind when instead they want people to notice them and think ''hey isn't she hot..'' or something.

girls like that will always be insecure, they'll always strive to be the best in everything, especially in fashion and in whatever the world is in. because they care too much until it creates fear in them, on what others will think about them.

they'll always be like that unless the way they think are turned 180'.

alright fine. which girl doesn't care about fashion, which girl doesn't want to be noticed. practically every girl does. but some girls just go overboard with things.

like a below 15 year old girl wearing a tube? (not pin-pointing but giving example..)

i'm just saying, don't go overboard with the outfit and stuff and sell yourself cheap with high mantainence or something. they're only materials on earth. you can't bring them to heaven with you. =)

2009-12-21T00:01:00.005+08:00

how much disturbance is the human brain designed to deal with? how much pressure is the human brain capable of experiencing? there is a certain limit, where when too much hits on the brain, a section of the brain will be affected.

i think i'm nearing that limit.

i need to learn more...

oh..btw jeson broke up with me just now. yes, i know, isn't it sad.. he said he loves carmen more than he loves me..

......

......

......

the relationship was pretend, don't worry..

but now that means i can't hold his hand anymore......

this so cheered me up..

Chicken

2009-12-18T21:54:00.002+08:00

do you know how a chicken walks?

its head goes forwards and backwards repeatedly, like the head is leading the entire body to move forward or elsewhere.

and it's leg jerks up and down unnaturally, as if it's a very forceful act to walk.

and it's shows off it's butt involuntarily because of it's jerking legs.

don't laugh.

i walk like the chicken now. cz..leg pain..

don't laugh.

*angry face*

Christmas Rehearsal 2009

2009-12-18T21:21:00.002+08:00

i've been having body aches all over ( leg, hip, arm) for the past few days and it's so bad i can't go up and down the stairs without flinching or yelping in pain. i can hardly bend down to pick up a pencil from the floor.

and it's because i practiced dancing too much without warming up (learnt my lesson).

today we had rehearsal. the dance didn't have an easy choreography and in certain parts of the song we had to bend down or jump down or get on the floor in a super fast beat and get back on our feet the next count..

for the past 2 days during practice i haven't been doing those moves to the full and didn't bend down or jump up or get on the floor like i was suppose to cz it hurts like crazy.

so i was wondering how was i suppose to do all those hard and painful stunts when i can't bend down properly.

surprisingly during the dance, i was able to bend my knees all the way down and back up again immediately without feeling any pain. i was able to get on the floor and come back up in the correct amount of time without shrieking..

it was so...wow..

and right after the dance we had to walk down the stage, which had 2 steps of stairs, and i had a hard time trying to come down. now, my body still aches.

O.o

it was precisely only during the dance that God took all the pain from my legs away so i could dance properly. wow.. i thank Him so much. =D

WMP

2009-12-16T12:19:00.003+08:00

i must be smarter than you are. it only took me common sense and people watching. =D -.-

screw wmp. playing the awesomely emo and precise song.

next song please...

next song again please..

next song again please..

next song again please..

Singapore couldn't have made me sick.. could it?

2009-12-16T11:51:00.006+08:00

diarrhoea!!!!!!!!!!

sorethroat!!!!!!!!!

mummy my tummy hurts.. =( owwwwuch....

*to the bog*

oh btw i went to singapore... and i'm back!!!! i miss my own bathroom. XD XD

Pray for broken hearts.

2009-12-10T00:47:00.004+08:00

*reads friend's blog post : i hope they don't fight again*

they fought? oh yes i pray that they'll fight more and they break up.. the sooner the better. the worse the break up the better.

quote by teacher kenneth: sometimes you have to pray for the destruction of others. sometimes you pray that God breaks their heart. because people run back to God with broken hearts. no broken heart, no running to God from the backslided.

it's true. if people are in their own cozy world, they won't feel as if they need God. cz everything would be going their way and life would be perfect. but if they are out of their comfort zones, if they are suffering, if their heart hurts, they would turn to God as their last resort.

[isn't it sad the way most christians only turn to God when they need Him.. it's like..being the boss of God instead of the other way round. cz God should be our boss, not us be His boss..]

2009-12-08T23:33:00.003+08:00

all throughout spm season i was wondering how come i was feeling so stress-free and light-headed. i even prayed about it. it was out of the ordinary not to have something plucking the stress out of my brain.

and..right after spm, i suddenly felt like..this blow of problems and everything else hits me once again. it was like, during spm season i was sheltered from any distractions, like God had His hand over me. and once spm is done, it's like.. i can feel the heat of things all over again.

thousands of things are swirling through my mind now i don't even know why am i so stressed.. =( i think i needa talk to Gem...

Hi Gem..

SPM day 8 [last day]

2009-12-08T23:20:00.003+08:00

[chemistry]

gahhh.. so freaking hard... -.- and dennis told me chem would be easy this year.. -.-

my mind's all in a mess now..

reality hasn't hit yet. it feels like i've not even sat for SPM yet. and.. it's..the end of high school....

i feel sad..yet excited..yet scared.. next year i'll be off to aus. just that statement gives such a big impact. i realised that this will most probably be the last time i can feel so at home and friendly and non-outsider with my friends here. this will most probably be the last time i can contribute to eklektos...and praise kids..

wow.. i'll be off to aus next year. the thought disheartens me. i'm gonna miss my mom so much. and my friends too... =(

Cats meeting

2009-12-07T19:36:00.001+08:00

what were the cats doing on the proton car... o.o -.-

chem!! last subject!!! >.< =D

SPM day 7

2009-12-03T16:21:00.003+08:00

[physics]

didn't know what to study for paper3 today.. so i just picked one experiment [out the zillions in the ref book] and decided to study that. and prayed..

and when the paper reached my hands just now, i found out that the experiment that i randomly picked to study came out! i was in awe.. like..like..wow......the only experiment that i studied came out. it was almost like a leaked..except i didn't even know that would come out. O.O so grateful to God. =D =D =D

overall physics was kinda easy. =P tricky a lil but easy. paper1 and paper3 is the first 2 papers in the whole spm exam where i had enough time to complete everyhing and recheck.. XD every other paper, basically not enough time. heh. >.<

i know this is a lil late..but..
quote chok quoting teacher dorothy: don't predict, prepare.

ahhh freedom.. you're so close by i can smell your sweet aroma. another few days and i'll be leaping with joy like a lunatic. well, it's okay to be a lunatic. it's after spm anyway. XD

i've a feeling that everyone will be crying during the last paper of chem next week. last paper for spm. last day we'll all be together, officially..

they started crying during class party already.. O.o

by the way,

happy birthday dude! i bet we gave you the best present ever. XD malaysia's ministry of education gave you a pretty good present too. physics paper-easy peasy lemon squeesy. nyehehehe..

My dog seems more excited

2009-11-30T20:55:00.003+08:00

mom sis me tiger

*sis gets down from car from airport*

*yelps and shrieks with joy of her homecoming* *pounces on her*

hi..=)

oh..hi..

*pause*

so you two..how come no hug one..

*hug* XD

Baron, one-word posting works better. =D

2009-11-30T16:01:00.006+08:00

BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Judging

2009-11-29T00:30:00.005+08:00

something was bothering me just now. i'm being placed in a situation whereby either i point out the mistakes made or i just keep quiet and the same mistake keeps being repeated over and over again.

quote teacher kenneth : if you find there's something wrong, fix it. don't just be those that knows how to complain but don't do anything about it. God planted that passion and realisation in you for a reason. so do something about it. don't just sit and complain and don't do anything.

Matthew 7 : 3-5 = 3"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 4How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? 5You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye."

don't want to be refered to the above verse. but teacher kenneth's right. i can't sit and think all these to myself only. someone's gotta say something.. >.< hmm.. talked to my mom about this for advice [ada banyak salt ba her.. XD]

what do you think the bible meant when it said 'do not judge'? what does it mean by 'judge'?

in my opinion [mixed with the effect of being brainwashed by my mom] judging means going around pointing fingers at others saying stuff like ''i don't like that person, that person is bad bad bad! i'll never be like him/her,'' or something like that. however, just by spotting a false move of someone/something doesn't necessarily means it's judging, everyone is entitled to their own opinions. but if a false move is detected, try to solve it positively instead of just sitting there complaining. the more you sit and complain and do nothing, the more it seems as though you are judging. =)

gahh..after talking to my mom, i felt much better. talking to her about issues usually make me feel better.. =D

so, what do you guys think it meant by 'do not judge'?

edmund bully me...

2009-11-26T14:32:00.004+08:00

me edmund teacher ellaine

edmund was sitting next to me just now in tuition.

*dumps eraser dust on me*

*kicks* oh sorry sam there was an ant on your leg..

*punches over and over again* don't get angry la okay? *punches* don't angry la..

etc..

i got annoyed.. so i stayed quiet....

*punches* don't angry la sam..

*no reaction*

edmund, you know when a volcano errupts, it doesn't errupts slowly. it keeps everything inside for a long time then it PBOOM!!!.....

then you die lo..

okay ba sorry sorry..

he started being nice after that. he knew i was angry.. XD

*explaning physics (V=IR) to me* for example, i can push you easily across the room if there is nothing in the way. but if there are 2 people whom you need to go through, it'll be harder. if edmund is in your way, you need to pinch him so he'll run away. that is resistance.

*take shoe and position self to smack me with it* you touch me i smack you with this..

*glare*

okay sorry sorry..

*wipes hand on shirt cz sweaty*

okay ba sam! i'm sorry i'm sorry! *jerks away*

haha! he flinches at your tiniest movement. XD *amused*

apparently, being quiet works very well as self-defense and threat. hehehehehe........

SPM day 6

2009-11-25T17:23:00.003+08:00

[additional mathematics]

the whole paper was hard.. =( paper1 was slightly easier, but there wasn't enough time.. paper2 was hard, and i didn't have enough time too. lost more than 20 marks in paper2. cz not enough time. -.-

was so agitated just now. -.- i sit beside the wall and it's a little uncomfortable to write cz i'm a righty and the wall is on my right. okay that is annoying enough. but just now in the afternoon the sun was smiling ever so hugely at me. it was so hot i could literally feel the hot blazing sun piercing it's burning rays on my skin. felt like a super mild corrosion on my skin. -.-

so the natural thing i could do about that was to put the curtain down. sadly the curtain is so short it's impossible to tuck it between the table and the wall. can't even shield the sun from my arm. the curtain was long enough to bother my head when it was flapping in the wind though. -.- i'm angry at the curtain. -.-

the nice invigilator noticed our suffering and opted to help tuck the curtain to the window. when she saw that the curtain was too short to cover our arms from the sun, she decided to move our tables away from the wall, nearer to the person next to us.

she motioned me playfully not to see my friends answers when she moved our tables. cz our tables were so close i could practically reach out and touch my friend's paper.

she's so nice.. but halfway through the paper she switch off our class lights. dunno why.. O.o save electricity?

the sun didn't bother us for about 10 minutes. after that the rays managed to sneak up on us again..

and then the mild corrosion began and so did the try-to-see-paper-with-sun-in-my-eyes process. -.-

we're having hot afternoons in kk.

but putrajaya is having flooding.. it's so bad people had be evacuated. pity the spm takers there. >.<

yes, scorcing feeling and being half-blinded by the sun is better than having murky waters up to your chin while you try not to get your books drowned.

God, thank You that it's not flooding here..

i'm still having cough and slight slight at-night-only flu. but i'm not gonna care and eat lotsa junkies for now. cz my next paper is 8 days away and i wanna release my overdue cravings on good unhealthy food.

constipation has striked!!! >.< i eat alot of vege and fruits lo. my body must have been affected by the stress..

conclusion, eat junkies!!

SPM day 5

2009-11-24T11:32:00.002+08:00

[moral]

today i went to school with a hand-size pouch and my bottle only. was stunned when i saw my friends with big bulky bags.. like..what did you put in there?? i only need a piece of paper to study moral.. O.o

i found out that the piece of paper i used for moral had word errors on them. it wasn't using the exact words like how it was suppose to. -.- *sigh* it's over liao. don't think so much.. -.-

when the islam takers were done with their papers, the moral takers had half an hour left. so the islam takers left the class while the moral takers stayed back to finish the paper. right after the islam takers left, the 3/4 invigilators in my class started talking and laughing among themselves, as if in their own private world, while we still had our exam on. i kept glaring back at them. the glaring didn't work..

so i went 'SSSHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!' really loudly. that did it. my classmates giggled but the invigilators shushed up. XD

apparantly i can report them.. to whom i dunno, but i don't wanna report them anyway. malas. lol..

SPM day 4

2009-11-23T11:24:00.000+08:00

[maths]

i was feeling a little disorted when i went to school today. >.< dunno why.. when i sat for maths1 i suddenly felt like i was taking maths1 more for myself than for God. felt so horrible after that. dunno why it's maths1 that i felt as if it wasn't for God. maybe cz i didn't really study my hardest for that. =( when i was filling in answers i suddenly felt as if peace was absent..

*sigh..*

went away and pray after the exam. felt better enough to sit for maths2. this time, for God. =)

hope results come out alright. my maths1, (-3) x 0 = -3. -.-

Ants love me

2009-11-21T00:05:00.004+08:00

sorethroat has stuck by me loyally and hatefully for days. ughhh!

i feel like a celebrity among ants. seriously. somehow they know i won't kill them unless they bite me. so everyday they crawl all over me (my room is infested with ants. -.- no food pun..). today i found about 5 ants on my piece of dirty laundry. -.- don't know what they were doing there.

love me till wanna grab my dirty laundry?

SPM day 3

2009-11-20T13:18:00.003+08:00

[est]

today was so cool. we had only i think 24 people sitting for est in lok yuk. so when we gathered to pray before the paper outside the class, like half the sudents went out for prayer. =D

i was a little concerned at first about the essay. teacher dorothy scared all of us. targeted topics were technology, cloning and diseases. and i was afraid that i wouldn't be able to come up with anything scientific if the esaay was on biology, cz i didn't take up bio. or i would have to put in stuff like: acid rain corrodes marble because marble which contains calcium carbonate will reacts with sulphuric acid in acid rain to form something something..or something like that..

but essay was based on physics!!! friction! the easiest esaay topic i have come across. mainly cz i learnt all about it during physics. XD

me hannah john

sam i dunno how oh just now. additional information i put.. wheels are invented in tamadun hwang ho. was it invented there?
it was in tamadun mesopotamia. -.-
O.o he even remembered that..
yerr!!
know what i wrote? wheels are made from a variety of material such as wood, metal (steel), rubber and plastic. XD XD
yerrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

though it was an easy topic (for me, sorry hannah) i rushed through the writing cz there wasn't enough time. >.<>.<

i feel like.. relaxing already. 2 days to my next paper. XD

this is what the world is getting to be.

2009-11-20T12:46:00.001+08:00

I want to be rich and I want lots of money
I don't care about clever I don't care about funny
I want loads of clothes and f**kloads of diamonds
I heard people die while they are trying to find them

I'll take my clothes off and it will be shameless
'Cuz everyone knows that's how you get famous
I'll look at the sun and I'll look in the mirror
I'm on the right track yeah I'm on to a winner

{Chorus}
I don't know what's right and what's real anymore
I don't know how I'm meant to feel anymore
When we think it will all become clear
'Cuz I'm being taken over by The Fear

Life's about film stars and less about mothers
It's all about fast cars and cussing each other
But it doesn't matter cause I'm packing plastic
And that's what makes my life so f***ing fantastic

And I am a weapon of massive consumption
And it's not my fault it's how I'm program to function
I'll look at the sun and I'll look in the mirror
I'm on the right track yeah I'm on to a winner

{Chorus}
I don't know what's right and what's real anymore
I don't know how I'm meant to feel anymore
When we think it will all become clear
'Cuz I'm being taken over by The Fear

{Bridge}
Forget about guns and forget ammunition
Cause I'm killing them all on my own little mission
Now I'm not a saint but I'm not a sinner
Now everything is cool as long as I'm getting thinner

{Chorus}
I don't know what's right and what's real anymore
I don't know how I'm meant to feel anymore
When we think it will all become clear
'Cause I'm being taken over by fear

2009-11-19T21:51:00.004+08:00

[got this from internet.]

EricFu

18-12-2004, 01:12 PM

Well, I guess you need to know some tips for EST...From my experience in teaching Form 4 and Form 5 EST classes during my break, I noticed that not all information regarding science and technology are accurate. After all, it is EST - English for Science and Technology. It is English that matters (too bad). Therefore, when you are sitting for EST, the most important thing is that you must make sure you know nothing about science. Forget about you science classes. Read and understand what is given in the passage, and most importantly, answer questions according to the passage, NOT WHAT YOU KNOW. That's the tip that I could give after I personally taught EST in high school.

what.. where got such thing... -.- they put the word 'science and technology' in there for a reason ya know......... -.-

SPM day 2

2009-11-19T17:23:00.010+08:00

[English 1]

i feel like posting my essay up. pretty happy with it. i know i didn't put alot of nice expressions and high quality vocab but you can't blame me. i didn't know the english language had such a wide variety of expressions and vocabs till last month when pn roseline taught me.

seriously, those of you who have gotten pn roseline as your english teacher for at least a year, if you don't get at least an A-, i don't know what have you been doing in her class.. -.- she is like the best of the best english teachers. no offence intended..=P

anyway, my essay. i used hannah's name. wasn't intending on it but it was the only name that appeared to me at that moment. the other name apart from hannah's that was in my head was.....miley..

i don't know why....okay.. >.<

title: end your essay with the sentence '..We said our goodbyes and went our seperate ways.'

I sauntered towards the school gate and stopped next to Hannah. I turned my face towards hers. She did not turn to face me, but instead her gaze was focus on the road. Her tears however, were betraying her. Large, crystal drops were flowing down her pale, translucent cheeks.

I turned away from her. As I did so, memories started to flood my mind.

I was perched on the foot of my bed, my body stiff with fear. I had remain in this position far too long and there were pins and needles by my half asleep feet. The shimmering moonlight reflected on my floor tiles, bringing light to my dark room. My heart, however was downcasted and dark.

My parents were yelling again outside my door. They have been at each other's neck for months, who know why. This fight seemed the worst though.

I hummed to myself in attempt to block the screaming, to block my parents out, to block all my problems away. The louder I hummed, the louder the roaring became.

I reached for my phone and dialled Hannah's familiar number. This was my last resort.

''Hello?'' her mumbled voice told me I had rudely awakened her.

''Were you asleep?'' my voice was hoarsed with anxiety.

''No, it's fine,'' her voice clearer now. ''Are they fighting again?''

I did not answer her.

''What do you want me to do?'' she asked patiently, lovingly.

''Can you..tell me a story?''

Hannah started prattling her spur-of-the-moment story, in efforts to distract me.

''Hannah, how does it feels like to be in a happy family?'' I interrupted her story-telling.

''Well..uhm..they don't fight,'' Hannah cautiously replied after a pause.

I started to cry.

Hannah in desperate attempt to distract me, started singing.

''Somewhere out there, someone cares for me,'' her beautiful, soothing voice filled my ears.

I supressed my sobs and focused on the angelic voice.

The voices of my parents were getting louder. Unforbiden words, unforgivable phrases were yelled.

Then silence.

All I could hear was Hannah's beautiful song.

Then I heard a slam of the door. The car engine in my garage roared to life and went away quickly.

''Hannah, I think my mom just left..'' my voice quivered.

I heard her drew a quick sharp breath for a moment.

"Somewhere out there, someone's saying a prayer,'' she continued her melody of hope.

I just lay there, sprawled on my bed, and cry and cry and cry while Hannah consoled me with her song.

My father's car rolled over and honked at me, bringing me back to present day. I wiped the hot stained tears from my cheeks and faced Hannah. This time, she turned her blotchy face towards me.

This was the end of high school. This was the end of late phone calls. This was the end of our friendship. This was the last time we would ever lay our eyes on each other again.

We both knew, this was the end. Hannah will be across the globe tomorrow, pursueing her ambition of a doctor.

We both knew, this was the end.

We said our goodbyes and went our seperate ways.

Isn't it sad.. i told my mom the story and she was laughing. -.-

2009-11-19T17:13:00.004+08:00

[Sejarah 2]

conversation with God went something like this..

me: God i am like freaking out right now and i dunno what to study and i can only pray that agraria will come out for essay. and so i pray that agraria will come out for essay. God i am so freaking out God calm me down, clear my head. God let me do all this for you, not for myself. =( and.....i pray that agraria will come out. Jesus name, Amen.

guess what.. agraria came out for essay. XD XD question wasn't presented in the way i would want it to be but still, agraria came out. couldn't ask for more. THANK YOU GOD!!!!!!!!!

History is history. goodbye i don't think i'll miss you. XD

SPM day 1

2009-11-18T17:26:00.003+08:00

warning: the msg below is not for chok to read until after SPM. XD

Steffi [msg] : Hey kiddies! The big exam we've been studying all the years of our life is finally here! And it'll pretty much determine the next few years of our lives! No pressure!! =D tomorrow, don't freak. Pray if that's your thing. If you don't know how to answer, skip it first. Just chill and KICK SOME ASS!

no pressure huh... XD

amazing, i don't feel like it's SPM yet. feels like a normal exam in a different class with papers coloured with pictures with the front cover saying 'lembaga peperiksaan lembaga peperiksaan lembaga peperiksaan lembaga peperiksaan' over and over again. [i started freaking out when i saw the number of 'lembaga peperiksaan' words on the cover of the paper]. oh.. i'm using the class above the guys toilet. wonderfully not stinky. im not kidding. i like that class alot more than my old class..which had 2 fans.. this class has 3 fans.

ba.. toodles. gonna go www.fanfiction.net/ for english essays. i know my english is fine but i wanna get A+. and it's not so easy getting A+............

all the best spm takers. surrender all to God. =D

2009-11-16T16:40:00.003+08:00

Days to SPM: 2 [insert sound-effects-of-war here]

Preparation: noone will ever be 100% prepared. okay i guess..

Condition: [sick- flu, cough, sorethroat, slight fever, slight headache] - thankfully just getting better

Doctor: God

Class Party 2009

2009-11-13T16:56:00.005+08:00

today is officially the last day where all my classmates are together. sad isn't it. some cried. i didn't see the need to shed tears though. slightly emo is fine with me..

never thought i'll say this but i really love my class. despite the craziness and high school dramas.. =)

aaron chin cooked this for teacher. so sweet oh..

in 5s3 class party. after this photo, a girl came up to cjj (pregnant guy) and clawed at the hidden balloon. it burst. couldn't stop laughing after that. XD

we had voting for a few items. from what i can remember:

1. murid paling kili christ

2. murid paling power ketawa christ

3. sleeping beauty luzeey

4. sleeping beast charlston

5. murid paling popular jons

6. murid paling jajal charlston

7. murid paling cute (lelaki) nazirul

8. murid paling cute (perempuan) carolyne

9. murid paling friendly samantha =D now how did i get this award..

10. murid paling diam vernon

11. murid paling lawak christ

12. snow white kelas umara

13. murid paling kerap pergi tandas (lelaki) marshall

14. murid paling kerap pergi tandas (perempuan) sue

15. murid paling sihat bryant jr

16. murid paling sporting christ

the certificate giving ceremony to the 'winners' were hilarious:

1. cz christ won 4 times. edwina (emcee for voting thing) got tired of announcing christ's name.

2. yang paling sihat was the obese student. he was so happy to receive the award. XD

3. when receiving his award, vernon (murid paling diam) was asked to give speech. [andrea: biar dia diam ba!!] when the class quite down, waiting for a speech, he said.. ''cakap apa'' super softly to edwina. definately diam. XD

4. christ (murid paling power ketawa) started laughing his high pitched signature laugh when he received his award. the class roared with laughter..

5. carolyne (murid paling cute (perempuan)) made herself blush tomato red when receiving her award. the adorable-ness. haha!

2009-11-10T16:21:00.003+08:00

i don't know what to do anymore. feel like giving up. been trying all these months and he kept lying to himself and me. ''i want to change'' he says. but he's still the same. sometimes i wonder if he says that only to keep me silent and to make me happy. i know i'm not suppose to judge but he's my friend and i care for him. i don't want to regret this when i grow up.

can't you see you're blinded ka? you know you're wrong. you say you want to change. but it doesn't mean anything if you're just saying it. act it out. prove to me and all of us and most importantly, God, the person you really are. don't just be some weak guy that is all talk and no action.

the most pathetic thing is that you know about all the christian stuff that i can tell you about already. but you're so caught up in your own world. you know God wants to rescue you from the pit hole in your life. but you don't wanna get out. how then can God take you out if you're unwilling?

i don't know what you find in the ways of the world, seriously. temporary happiness? and hurt and violence and guilt and sorrow and addictions. what use is there? what's the point of following the ways of the world when it gives you broken hearts after broken hearts? you only have one heart. and it's very well obvious it's torn and ripped apart. so how? seek 'medication' from the world? the world doesn't heals. it gives you painkillers that have side effects and eventually wears off. like aspirin. God heals. His doesn't have and side effects. it doesn't wears off.

please. for the sake of yourself, don't give up. don't say ''i don't trust God''. this is all just a test. life on earth is short. don't waste it on aspirins.

i bet you dislike me.

i bet your 'love' don't like me too. she would probably use the word 'hate' on me.

know what.. i really kasian her. you're stabbing her heart and she lets you do so willingly.. =(

wake up call people!! stop living in dota land where it's good if you tear a soul. -.-

Faithful To Him

2009-11-09T19:09:00.003+08:00

i think britney spears's song, 'lucky', was kinda like a last desperate cry to be free from all the hectiness of being a star, free from the bondages of everything, free from the pointless living and free from an empty heart etc. if i'm not mistaken she changed drastically after that song (probably not right after la but around that line). and her career and the way she brought herself up was a downhill.. =(

''antichrist'' she yelled.

i think she didn't find peace or whatever she was expecting from God. too blinded by the paparazzi, media, fame, materials, herself?

sometimes God doesn't answer our prayers right away or how we want it. but He does that cz He wants to test our faithfulness. just like how God is forever faithful to us, He wants us to be forever faithful too. we can't be just the selfish being, expecting blessings and riches from God and yet remain unworthy and unfaithful to Him. make sense? =)

so people, don't give up in your faith (the way she did. >.< not criticizing). God is always watching and guiding His children. =)

2009-11-06T18:26:00.000+08:00

today wong kah attempted to hug me while me being cornered and him pretending to be a blind desperate guy..

and so i slapped him with my purse.. O.o

he was pretending the attempt of course..

but my freaked-out-ness wasn't fake.. O.o

and so..

i humiliate him in front of his whole class... XD XD

Essay - God's Potion

2009-11-06T17:25:00.002+08:00

this is going to be extra extra long. but it's worth reading it. (it's fiction..)

I was suddenly awakened by the sound of an enormously loud whistle. The noise sounded similar to that of a large ship docking into a harbor. Next the sound of rumbling metal filled my ears. As I opened my eyes I was temporarily blinded. These lights seemed brighter then the summer sun. I felt goosebumps rise on my spine. I knew this mysteriously noisy thing was tremendously close and headed directly toward me. The ground beneath me shook something fierce. I quickly got my senses together and recognized this noisy object as a freight train. It was now so close the strong smell of the fumes burned my nostrils. My heart beat increased rapidly. It pounded so hard I thought it was going to jump right out of my chest. The thoughts in my head spun wild.

I had experienced wild dreams before but nothing quite like this. I pinched myself to ensure I was awake. With a quick glance around I realized I awoke in a very dangerous place. I was positioned right in the middle of a train tunnel. I knew I had little time to react and get out of the path of this train. I realized in a flash my life could be over. I strained to get my body to move. I noticed my legs were folded underneath my body and were both completely numb. I guess I’d been there long enough for the circulation to my lower body to be cut off, this causing my legs to be completely asleep. I struggled to get them to move without any luck. I figured there was no way I was going to get out of the train’s path fast enough. I said a quick prayer in my head. Down deep I thought I was really way too young to die, but in this situation there didn’t seem to be any alternative. I closed my eyes for a split second. Suddenly I remembered the potion. I hurriedly reached into my pocket and pulled out the small bottle. I quickly opened it and dumped the liquid down my throat. I swallowed hard and continued to pray for a miracle.

My thoughts were instantly thrown into a tailspin. I felt dizzy and somewhat sick to my stomach. Sort of like the time I rode the monster roller coaster on a full stomach. My surroundings were now a blur and I don’t really remember what happened next.

Time seemed to pause for a moment. Strangely everything seemed to become very quiet… I must have passed out, as the next thing I recall was some large elderly gentleman towering over me. He cleared his throat and asked if I was okay. I wiped my brown curly hair out of my eyes and stared up at him. This had to rate right up there with one of the strangest things I had ever experienced. I was completely convinced the potion had worked, it was either that or I had already died and was on my way to heaven. Another thought then crossed my mind. Just maybe I was having a really weird dream with this guy in it? My doubts about being awake and on planet earth were quickly answered. I felt the cold rough hands of the guy standing over me trying to help me up. His voice was gruff as he spoke.

“Boy, you had better get out of the tracks before another train comes along. By the way, what is a young lad like you doing sleeping here anyway? Do your parents know where you are?” the man spoke to me like he was really concerned.

I tried to answer, but my mouth was entirely too dry to speak. My lips moved but my words were less than a whisper. He must have figured I couldn’t talk. He said he would help me get out of this place before I got seriously hurt. I attempted to stand up. My legs felt like they were suddenly made of a rubber hose. I had to admit he was very strong as he lifted me off the ground seemingly without an effort. I leaned on him and he wrapped his huge right arm around my shoulder. We slowly moved toward the exit stairs. He gently pushed me up the steps ahead of him. As we climbed to the top, I noticed the door we were about to enter led to the main lobby of the train station. I slowly stepped through the doorway. I turned around to thank this man for his help. He had suddenly vanished. Strange, I thought, where had he gone so quickly? It was just like a magic trick I had once witnessed at the local carnival. I figured he must have had something really important to do to just disappear and not even say goodbye. Realizing the fact I was safe, I really wanted to get home. I decided at this point I wasn’t going to spend the time to look for him or anyone else for that matter. I thought maybe I could return later on in the day to locate this guy and thank him for his help and kindness.

I strained my thoughts to recall what had just happened moments before. I remembered why I was in the train tunnel to begin with. Earlier in the day I had explored the tunnels with some of my friends. We had played hide and seek. For a group of young boys these tunnels were a really neat place for us to play. They were unexplored territory and we just couldn’t resist the temptation. Yes, it was foolish and somewhat dangerous, but as with most youth, we didn’t have any fear and didn’t know the limits of real danger. We were just a bunch of fearless boys seeking a mission of opportunity.

Anyhow the game we played had made up specific rules to follow. To begin, one of us was nominated to be the seeker. Rule number one was once when the seeker spotted someone they had to chase them down and touch them on the back. The first one caught had to be the seeker in round two. The last one caught always got a bigger head start on the next game. Of course being chased was a lot more fun than chasing someone else, so we all strived to be the last one caught in this game.

During my turn as the seeker I set out on a search for my friends. I spotted one of my friends about a hundred feet ahead of me. I quickly burst into action. I took off running as fast as I could toward him. Like a sprinter in a race I was determined to reach my destination in record time. My feet pounded on the ground below. I tried my hardest to catch up to him. Although I was in pretty good physical shape my friend was just a little faster then me. It didn’t take long before he gained some ground and got further ahead of me. He then turned a corner in the tunnel and disappeared. I figured he probably stopped to hide temporarily. I knew if I arrived soon enough I could catch him. I continued to put an all out effort to run faster. At one point I think my legs moved faster then I thought my brain would allow. I felt my heart pump fast with every step on the hard concrete floor. I was determined to catch up to my target. Just as I rounded another corner in the tunnel, my left foot suddenly slipped on something slick and I stumbled. Next my body sailed a few inches off of the floor and I slammed into the nearby wall. I crashed to the ground hard but not before bumping my head against the concrete wall. I hit the floor hard and this knocked me out temporarily. I don’t know how long I was actually out, but the next thing I recollect was the oncoming train.
I now stood in the safety of the train station and recalled these recent events. I reached in my pocket for the bottle that contained my potion. The bottle was still there, but was now empty. I suddenly felt a chill go through my body. The hair on the back of my neck stood up and goose bumps rose on my arms.

On one hand I was glad the potion had worked, but then again I felt a little disappointed. I realized I had just used my once in a life-time potion at the young age of ten years old. I remembered when my mother gave me this bottle and informed me of its power. I recall laughing at her. It took some convincing, but she finally persuaded me to carry it with me everywhere I went. “For your safety, you will thank me someday,” She said to me as she forced the bottle into my jeans pocket.

I recall when my mother explained to me about the power of this potion. Mother said this magic liquid was “God’s potion” for me to use when the time was right. She instructed me to use it only if I had no other choice. She made me promise to say a prayer just before and after taking it. She told me I only had one dosage to use. She said only to use it for an unusual situation, such as an incident I felt I couldn’t control. She cautioned me on the fact that once it was used it would be gone forever. Mother said the power of this potion wasn’t to be taken lightly. “God’s potion”, as she called it, was a very special gift to have and not everyone had it. The disadvantage, she would say, was only getting to use it once. She told me to be very selective and only use it when the time seemed right.

As a young child I wasn’t exactly sure what she meant at the time. Mother told me this potion could be used to change a life event, in other words to alter the outcome of a bad situation when all else had failed. Well, I would guess that’s exactly what it did.
As I walked home alone that afternoon, I felt like one of the luckiest kids on this planet earth. I had just survived a very dramatic incident. I said many thanks in my head to my mother for all of her advice and ensuring I carry this magic potion. I also said a prayer in out loud for being fortunate enough to have such a great mother. The potion mother had given me had worked like a charm. Had I not used the potion, I probably wouldn’t be standing here today telling this tale. That train would have surely run right over me, leaving nothing more than maybe my tennis shoes in its tracks.

After I arrived home that day, I entered the living room of our house and approached my mother. She stood up and greeted me half way across the room. I sensed she knew something spectacular had happened to me. I could feel my body tremble as I reached out to give her a big hug. She smiled and hugged me back with warm welcome arms. We stood there for what seemed like entirety just holding each other. It seemed weird because it was as if she already knew something wonderful had just happened to me. She waited for me to tell her rather then questioning me about it like normal.

I finally spoke out and told her about my experience earlier in the train tunnel. As I looked at her an enormous smile crossed her face. I thanked her for what seemed like a million times for educating me about the potion and convincing me to carry it.

Mother praised me for giving thanks, but of course she added the reminder of the dangers of playing in the train tunnel to begin with. I knew this was coming, but she really surprised me and didn’t harp on it very long. I let her know I was sorry for making her worry. I also told her I was sad that I had used my potion, because now I no longer had it.

Mother just grinned and assured everything would be okay. She was always like that. She seemed to know exactly what to say to help me feel better. She then took my hands in hers. She squeezed them gently and I felt the warmth of her love and concern. She looked me straight in the eyes and told me she had a confession to make. She motioned me to follow her into another room.

We entered the kitchen and I watched her as she reached under the sink and pulled out an empty bottle very similar to the one that contained my potion.

She then told me a story about when she was younger and her mother educating her on the magic power of the potion. Mother then confessed she had also learned the true secret of this great potion at a very young age. She said her mother had given her a bottle of potion with the same exact instructions I had received from her. Mother said it was when she was about eight years of age she had resorted to using her magic potion for the first time. Like me, she was just totally amazed at its power. Mother said at that time she vowed to educate her own children someday of this great secret.

I was totally confused at this point. She told me the time was right for her to share this wonderful secret with me. She reached up and turned on the faucet of sink and filled the bottle with tap water. She approached the cabinet nearby and took out some red food coloring, dumping just a touch in the bottle. She motioned for me to close my eyes. She then reached out for my hand and gently squeezed it. She whispered a short quiet prayer. She handled the bottled with care as she gently shook it up. She then handed me the bottle. I felt my hands tremble as I took it from her. I stood there with a completely dumbfounded look on my face.
Mother informed me she had a job for me to do. I shook my head like I didn’t fully understand. She looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I remembered learning about the power of prayer through all of my childhood and church experiences.

“But mother, I drank the potion and know it worked. I would have died in those train tunnels today had it not been for the potion,” I said, trying to convince mother I felt very strongly about it working.

“Did you pray?” Mother asked me.

“Well, yes I did but…” I paused as she looked at me with her most serious eyes.

“Son, it wasn’t the potion that saved you,” She said.

“But mother…”

“Shhh”, she put her finger against my lips motioning my silence, “Hush now and listen closely to me son.”

She then informed me the bottle of “God’s potion” I received from her was exactly the same as the one she had just filled with only colored water. She explained to me the power of prayer was to give thanks, but if things really got out of control and one needed help they shouldn’t hesitate to pray for it.

Just then I realized what she was trying to convince me of. I experienced a similar form when I was lying in the train tracks. I felt cold chills run through my body and the hair on the back of my neck stood up. Wow! I thought. Was it the power of prayer that had saved me earlier today? I then recalled the moment I passed out just before the train arrived in the tunnel. As I woke up the elderly gentleman was stood over me. He must have pulled me out of the way just in time, but who was he and where did he come from? Mother’s explanation was he must have been an angel in disguise. She said he was surely sent down from heaven above and placed on earth just in time to save me. She reminded me I was one of God’s children and he would always look out after me. She said God would always be there no matter what, especially when I needed him most.

Mother reminded me not to abuse the power of prayer, but rather always be grateful and thank God for everything everyday. I really had a hard time believing everything she told me. Mother had a certain way of convincing me she was serious and that I really shouldn’t doubt her. A million and one thoughts filled my tiny little head. My brain appeared totally scrambled as these thoughts swirled around. I was really trying to grasp and process all of this information.

Even after all mother had said I still had my doubts. I decided what I needed to do. I was determined to return to the train station and locate the stranger who had saved my life. Of course when I mentioned this to mother, she spoke up instantly and tried to convince me not to go. She said it would be a waste of my time, but of course I wasn’t fully listening. At this point I only had one thing on my mind I felt was really important. So I began my mission of seeking out the truth.

I returned to the train station about an hour later. I was on a frantic search for this “angel in disguise”, as mother had called him. I remembered he wore a bright yellow slicker and shiny black boots, so I thought he should easily stick out in the crowd. I spent over an hour asking around and inquiring about him. Strangely not one person there, including the station manager, recalled seeing this guy.

This just can’t be so I thought. How could this guy be at the train station earlier and nobody but me be able to see him? I spent another half an hour searching around in and near the tunnels in an attempt to find my “hero”. Even with all of this I didn’t have any luck locating him. I was just about to give up searching and exit the train station. I turned to look around one more time. Surprisingly I noticed my mother standing just a few feet away. I figured she must have followed me to the train station just to ensure my safety on this journey. She slowly approached me with a broad smile on her face. I looked in her eyes and they were gleaming brightly. She then nodded her head toward me as if to confirm my question of doubt. I felt my heart beat increase. Within seconds it pounded inside so hard I thought it was about to jump out of my chest. I felt warm beads of sweat roll down the side of my head. Suddenly I knew mother had been right all along and I had been on an impossible mission.

Finally, once I accepted all of this as being the truth, I knew from that day forward my faith would be stronger than ever. Although I figured I would no longer need to carry a bottle of potion, I would anyway just for a constant reminder of my recent experience. I made a vow to share my knowledge of the great power above with others.

That wonderful warm afternoon, mother and I walked home together. We remained silent most of the way home. Once we entered our house she reminded me about the job she needed me to do. Of course I was readily willing to do whatever she needed. I thought it was my turn to pay her back something for all of the wonderful things she had done for me. Mother then handed me another bottle of “God’s potion” and informed me it was my turn to educate my younger brother about this wonderful gift. I gladly accepted this task and was really glad mom trusted me to do it.

Of course upon approaching my brother, like me, he thought all of this sounded pretty silly and unbelievable. I just know he will thank me someday when the time comes…once a believer, always a believer.

***The End***

Author: Roger Alan Worley

Testimony : One match

2009-11-06T16:48:00.002+08:00

today we had chemistry experiment. each group had to light up 4 spirit lamps, filled with methanol, ethanol, propanol, and but-1-ol (i think) respectively. as usual, there were very limited amount of matches given to each group.

our group started out with methanol, got stuck in ethanol (the flame from the match wouldn't go on the spirit lamp. -.-), moved on to propanol and then but-1-ol. then back to ethanol. by then we had 2 matches left. 2 matches left to try light up the spirit lamp.

if any of you were there in my group, you would have witnessed matches after matches being wasted before in attempt to light up the ethanol-filled spirit lamp. andrea and rica even wetted the tip of the lamp with ethanol several times cz it's suppose to catch fire easily.

so down to the last 2 matches. if i 'm not mistaken, we were the last group by then and kinda like the only group with matches left.

rica took 1 match and attempted to light up the lamp. the flame touched the lamp but the lamp wouldn't catch fire. then..the flame was extinguished.. =(

i wanted to do the next and last match. so i said a simple quick prayer while andrea wet the lamp with ethanol even more. then while i was attempting to cause friction on the match with the matchbox, rica offered to do it. cz my hands were shaking a bit (i dunno why.. last match ba.... -.- XD)

but rica said that too late. the flame was on the match already. lol. so i placed it again near the lamp. waited for a moment. and guess what? (don't need to guess la.. -.- ) the lamp caught fire!! =D

it was amazing the way we wasted so many matches (5?) trying to light up the ethanol-filled lamp. and on the last match i decided to pray a short prayer. and it caught fire. =) God decided to use the last match yet again to remind me the power of prayer and faith. wow.

For SPM..

2009-11-03T16:51:00.000+08:00

my credit expired today and i'm not intending to reload till after spm. probably. it's not such a long time away anyway. don't wanna reload cz i don't want my phone distracting me while i study. hehe.. also while i study, don't wanna be disturb with random people wanting to chat. so.....if anyone wants a reply from me, call me. XD

15 days to SPM!!!!!!!!!

pray for me kay readers-of-my-blog-which-happens-to-be-not alot-of-people. i wanna get my SPM results accesorized with many As and no C or D and i want to be able to tell God ''i did this for You!'' hehehe..

happy birthday davina!! =)

2009-11-03T16:36:00.002+08:00

thought i should post this up..

last week while i was praying, i saw like a big big keyhole, and in it were all my family, relatives, friends, basically people i'm good with or hang out with or care for. then a cloud of darkness hovered towards the top of the keyhole. then..i saw nothing after that. probably cz i opened my eyes..

i dunno who the 'cloud of darkness' is gonna kena, but right after that muncul the high school drama on the previous post and the bbq party at friend's house where people started getting drunk.. and i don't think that vision was only meant for these two events. so to all you people out there, jaga-jaga la sikit, especially your spiritual life..heh..

i dunno if this vision brought many problems to spring out like mushroom after the rain recently(lol) or have i just been more aware of the people and the things happening around me after the vision or the problems have actually been going on for a while, but this vision just opened my eyes. hehe..

God bless you guys!

Testimony : No fight

2009-10-30T23:15:00.003+08:00

as some of my friends and i prayed, there was no fight today. no squabble no nothing. except for eye-piercing stares from the big bully.

it's amazing how God controls everything.

today, my friend (the one yang was suppose to be beaten) told me that 2 guys that were initially against him came up to him and apologied. they admitted that they didn't wanna beat him up (cz he's their friend too) but they kena rasuah. and they both decided to tolak the rasuah from the girl and help him instead.

and everyone that was siding with the girl and the main bully yesterday seem to side with my friend now. =D nobody wants a fight though. except the girl and the bully. keke..

today before class ivy and evon and a few others prayed for this whole thing. and we made a plan to prevent the fight from happening. we realised that as long as my friend was either surrounded with girls or surrounded with guys that can fight, the bully won't attack.

so, everyone seems to be with him everytime now. lol. we'll have to keep this going till end of spm. after that, they won't be seeing each other anymore so it'll be fine. =)

isn't God just simply remarkably awesome.. He watches over all. =D

Testimony : The supposingly confirmed fight called off!

2009-10-29T18:02:00.003+08:00

i know i'm not suppose to be on the computer now, but i'm excited. XD 2/3 fights happened today. o.o

one of the fights included many of my friends/classmate. lets just say my dear friend got into trouble and was suppose to defend himself from a bunch of tall, strong-looking, mean, and either muscular or not all that fit guys. he only had one loyal supporter to help him. i was convinced that he's the innocent one and was on his side, and being his friend, was really worried for him. so i got together with evon and ivy and we did a short simple prayer that everything's gonna be alright and the fight will be called off. they made a deal to fight in my friend's house opposite school. basically so that no school authority (principal, teacher, pengawas, school guard......) can stop the fight. it's in a house after all, they would be trespassing.

so after school everyone (and i mean practically everyone) flew to my friend's house to witness the fight. me and hannah ran to the gate of his house and watch. a fight didn't errupt, but instead we saw my friend being pulled by 2 girls towards the gate. the fight was called off! one reason was because my friend had only 1 supporter and another reason was cz the guys wouldn't dare to hurt any of the girls. and the girls knew that and took advantage of it and prevented the fight from happening.

it's such a miracle. if i wasn't a christian, i would have believed 100% that my friend would end up bloody and hurt. and cz we prayed and believe, God stopped the fight from happening. =D

now the tension is going to be on tomorrow. pecutan ends today for this week and tomorrow, me and my friend and ivy and hannah will be in the same class, together with all the ones that wants to beat him up, including the girl. things are gonna get interesting tomorrow, but i believe that God will have mercy on my friend (unbeliever though) and save him from being slashed.

i'll try and post up another testimony on this tomorrow, if i'm not too busy. heh.. =D

state your faith right.

2009-10-27T23:12:00.002+08:00

unbeliever
me

what does your God (or bible) says when there's this person, he's always very confident and stuff. and now his confidence is stripped. and people around him are trying to change his ways.
uhm.. wait. i'm not a bible dictionary.. lol *thinks*
oh.. i actually though you were.
uhm.. don't grow weary..?
that's all?
*nothing to say cz can't recall everything*
plans are made but in the end it doesn't go according to your own way. that's life.
we believe that we can plan things ourselves but He is in control. our plans do go wrong. but we believe that things happen for the better. =)
well, that's faith.. i don't really believe................................*stands up and leave*
*never got the chance to ask why doesn't he believes in God*

main point is, if an unbeliever were to come up to any of you and question about the bible, are you able to to state it right? or are you going to humiliate yourself and christianity by giving lame points..like me.. >.< =(

read the bible more. remember more. meditate more. understand more.

*sigh* i feel like i've let God down again..

Forecast SPM 2009

2009-10-27T22:33:00.003+08:00

malay - A2
english - A1
maths - A2 (suppose to be A1 but teacher call me write myself and i wrote wrongly -.-)
add maths - C6
physics - B3
chem - B4
est - A2 (or A1, i forgot)
sejarah - B3
moral - A2

my sejarah and moral got higher than my add maths and chem!! >.< =( gahh.. nvm.. i prayed before going up to add maths teacher for my forecast. cz she gets mood swings.. and i guess a C6 is what i deserve.. =(

system changes during our batch, sadly.. no more A1, A2, B3, B4, C5, C6, D7, D8, E9.
now, it's A+, A, A-, B+, B, C, D, E. or so i heard.

so devastating the news for fellow 5s1 student. scholarships are now not for straight A1 students (90%-100%). scholarships are limited instead, to straight A+ students (95%-100%). the target is set on a bar almost impossible to reach..

PECUTT!!!!!!! 3 weeks away spm peeps. get your books in your head!!

2009-10-25T21:52:00.002+08:00

the mommy got scared by the baby... XD XD

hello everyone..

i've gotten all the subjects results for forecast except for chem and add maths.. glad that my forecast results are pretty high (for my expectation) but kinda worried if i don't reach that target for spm.. that would be a total let-down.. =(

why am i born in the same year as alex and derek and cavan.. why do they happen to be my family friends..

why are derek and cavan like ultra smart. their forecast are like full As or something..

i figured.. between me and alex, either one of us are gonna get whipped for our results when we get our results back. because naturally parents would be comparing their kids' spm results. who got higher and stuff.. and the one with the lowest mark would be like..outcast.. and the one with the lowest result would either be me or alex.. after samantha ong.. that one, can't blame her la.. >.< i think

okie study time.. sejarah!!

sejarah is actually pretty interesting..... O.o

Miles Brown - 4 year old hip hop dancer

2009-10-23T22:36:00.001+08:00

they call him the second MJ.. O.o

i think he's awesome. i think garry needs to see this. XD

2009-10-20T18:24:00.003+08:00

mom-purple
me-blue

[for you non-ly information, pecutan is the reshuffling of classes again process whereby it happens like about a month before major major exams..like SPM..]

[my class this year is 5s4]

mummy!! i got into 5s3 for pecutan!
oh, okay....
*-.- =(*
hannah got into 5s2 oh..
how come she can get into 5s2 de?
*=(*

*the next day*

when you were in 5s3 you didn't appreciate it. drop to 5s4 because you didn't concentrate on your studies. now you see la.......etc etc

my mom has been wanting me to go to 5s3 for pecutan for a while now.. and when i finally get into 5s3, she reacts like nothing important/fabulous happened or something. =( give me some positive responds la.. i work so hard. it's not all that easy to go up one class. especially in 5s4. considering all the teachers hate my class and no one listens to teacher when he/she teaching and i don't have alot of competitions except for hannah who happens to be a born genius.

this same thing happened when i got 1st in class. i know it's not a big deal for 5s4, but give me some credits and motivation ba. all she said was:''oh that's good *hugs* ''. i almost cried.

it bothers me the way some people that i'm close with, when something awesome happens, they just say:''oh, okay'' or something to that extend. i thought they would like..share my joy or something.. -.-

internet finally works! after so longggggggggggg........................... -.-

why do you serve God?

2009-10-10T00:18:00.003+08:00

sometimes i wonder of the purpose you serve. maybe you're not at the age to understand yet. or maybe i'm degrading you or judging you.

still remember the words of datuk paul: 'people serve in church not for God but for themselves. you serve in the ministry where you enjoy yourself and laugh all the time. but in a ministry where you get taken from your comfort zone or from your satisfaction or from your joy, you refuse to participate. you say that God doesn't want you serving there, it's not your call, not your talent etc because mainly, you don't find joy in serving. how do you know, really, if God doesn't want you to serve in that ministry? by your feelings and emotions?'

gahh.. now i see what he said is true...

i really don't know the real reason of you serving. we are all very well trained to say 'i serve for God. i'm on worship team for God. i'm on dance team for God. i'm in usher for God. i'm in media for God etc.' so asking you why you serve would be pointless.

i really have this gut feeling in my heart that you serve for the face. i can see so obviously. you boast to others about your participation in everything. you tell of how you did this or did that. there's hardly a week in church where you're free and not serving that specific day. and you're proud of it. you're proud to tell everyone that 'you're doing this all for Him.'

is my point clear? when we serve (notice the 'we') pride comes in. pride is the stepping stone to the downfall of leaders. pride is invisible and well hidden. pride can go unnoticed for a very long time (like like cancer) and when it had been left alone for too long, it eats you up. and i admit it. i had to battle pride while i was in ministry. therefore i don't blame you for having pride.

i thought all that i have heard, all the gossip, overprotectiveness, misunderstanding, lack of trust, division, i thought all have faded after a year. i thought the inside and the outside of the church was one and united. and recent issues have proven me wrong again. i hear tales of misunderstandings andoverprotectiveness again. i see the lack of trust and the judgemental looks everyone has. i see pride.

let not the work of the devil divide us.

come on church! i know i'm not an official leader anymore. but if this goes on we will be the same as how we were last year. everyone would end up hurt. i really don't want this to happen again. i know no church is perfect. but all i'm asking is to stop pointing the fingers and strive of the disapperance of pride. if you think she's so bad, let God judge her. let God take control. you have no right to say that about her just as i have no right to degrade you.

i know her heart is pure. but is yours? don't tell me you doubt her. tell God with a pure heart that you serve for Him.

did you know? sib likas malay congregation, they take their ministry really seriously. they cry when they serve because they serve totally for God. their heart is 100% for God. that is how humble they are. in my 5 years, i haven't seen that happen in eklektos. and how i wish we would all have that kind of heart to serve.

this is not the time to allow pride to enter. bible said (don't know where but something like) if your right arm causes you to sin, cut it off! it is better for you to lose your arm than to spend eternity in hell.

God unite us.

how are You going to unite us?

through people like me that think too much la..-.-

*sigh* i don't know what to do with people that aren't in the same lane of thinking.. comments?

this post, is dedicated to miley cyrus

2009-10-03T15:43:00.004+08:00

i'm not those kind of people that are madly in love with miley cyrus and dream about her every night. nor am i those that loathe her and wish she didn't exist. i'm those kind that think she's good with acting and singing.

but

i think miley doesn't realise that she's famous world wide. if she does, she would not be dressed in outfits exposing her boobs halfway. yea miley we know you have boobs who doesn't..

gahhh.. miley is so looked upon. i wish she would bring real benefit to the world instead of just movies and songs and generations of 'i-love-miley-cyrus-therefore-i-will-eat-and-sleep-and-breathe-and-do-everything-like-her'. i understand that being famous is really hard for her considering her age and all but dressing with oufits that gets guys high and dancing like a [i-would-not-say-anything-offensive] is really telling every girl to be sluts and sex-oriented.

i'm not trying to degrade miley cyrus. i think she's really talented and that she impacts the world hugely. but does she impacts for good or for bad?

wonder where all her moral values went. when ordinary life disappeared, ordinary moral values disappered too i guess. and fake values came up. such as 'you must tell the world that you'r sexy and hot or you won't be loved' and stuff..

miley is a christian. that's good. but it seems that she's only a christian by name. what point is that then?

quotation from eduardo verastegui's english tutor: if you honour and love God then why do you offend Him with your life? (something to that extend)

i use to think that miley cyrus was different. that miley was real and was ready to show the world what's right. but i was wrong.

miley, why do you offend your Creator and Saviour?

Fingers licking numb.. ha?

2009-09-22T13:10:00.003+08:00

my fingers have been numb for 4 days now. doctor said i exerted way more pressure than the amount that my fingers could handle. he said my nerves are in a state of shock..

takkan nerves shock for so long.. O.o -.-

and so i've been scalding my fingers with hot water thinking it would help courtesy of teacher Dennis when hot water won't do anything. thanks teacher i greatly appreciate your assumption of treatment.. -.-

the doctor said my fingers are tiny..

well of course la compared to his. he's a guy what..

fingers getting a little bit better though. =D i think..

Graphic Health Warnings (GHW)

2009-09-22T12:47:00.002+08:00

i think it's a splendid idea to put GHW on cigarette packs. considering anti campaigns for smokers has only decreased 2% of the nation's smokers since 11 years ago.. >.<

apparantly malaysia has the highest percentage of teenage smokers in asean countries. guys of 40% and girls of at least 11% O.o

heaven? (edited)

2009-09-18T23:18:00.004+08:00

some people believe that as long as you confess with your mouth that Jesus is the Son of God and He is the Way, you'll go to heaven, you don't need to live a 'holy' life. others believe that just by claiming through your mouth isn't good enough, you gotta live your faith. church always teach us that as long as we believe we'll go to heaven.

john 3:16 = For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

ephesians 2:8-9 = For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one can boast.

however,

james 2:14 = What good is it, my brothers, if a man claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save him?

james 2:18-20 = But someone will say, "You have faith; I have deeds." Show me your faith without deeds, and I will show you my faith by what I do. You believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that—and shudder. You foolish man, do you want evidence that faith without deeds is useless?

james 2 :26 = As the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without deeds is dead.

contradicting eh..

le ping said (not in exact words): as long as you have a personal relationship with God you'll be saved and you'll enter heaven. faith means having a personal relationship with God ma..

well you believe what you choose to believe. =)

immunity..

2009-09-18T23:01:00.004+08:00

*types with 8 fingers* my 2 fingers are numb.. from blanko-ing vertically set up sugar paper.. it's been numb for 7 hours now.. O.o i wonder if apple has numb fingers too..

i think..for all the hurts, i think God is trying to make me get immune to them. yes i'm weird. just got me thinking ya know.. why does God allow me to get hurt so often? instead of getting immune to the hurts i got immune to the people that hurt me and i now don't take them seriously for whatever they say.. bad huh.. i'm suppose to be immune to the hurt and still love the people, not get immune to the people and not love them enough..

don't matter if you don't understand..

teacher kenneth told me once about pottering.. potters keep in view (kiv) their clays and place them on a shelf to be left alone when their clays don't wanna be shaped properly. that's what GOD does. when people still don't listen/accept Him, kiv..

i'm gonna kiv. and expect for the worst but accept anything (gua) cz clearly not kiv-ing gives me more hurt and hoping for anything but the worst wounds me. i don't wanna be hurt again..

oh who am i kidding.. i always expect for the worst and then even worse unimaginable issues come up. and then i tell myself that i shouldn't care and that nothing will make me cry.. but in the end i still cry..

i'm sucha cry baby. big girls don't cry? then i must be a little girl then..

i shouldn't be feeling this way. but i can't help it. quote hannah : there's history.

God make me immune.. >.<

2009-09-15T23:32:00.000+08:00

this is freaking awesome..

2009-09-10T18:42:00.004+08:00

Flyleaf - Breathe Today

You try your hardest to perfect your explanations...
You lie until they've run out of questions

You can only move as fast as,
Who's in front of you,
And if you assume,
Just like them,
What good will it do,
So find out for yourself
So your ignorance,
Will stop bleeding through.

You can breathe today

So many lies swirling,
All around you,
You're suffocating,
The empty shape in you,
Steals your breath,
You're suffocating.

Logic forces me to believe in this,
And I have learned to see,
And I can only say what I've seen and heard,
And only you can choose,
And every choice you make will effect you,
Suit your own self.

You can breathe today

So many lies swirling,
All around you,
You're suffocating,
The empty shape in you,
Steals your breath,
You're suffocating.

Breathe!!!

Big enough to fill the void that's inside of you,
It's just a breath away.

So many lies swirling,
All around you,
You're suffocating,
The empty shape in you,

Breathe today.

so many 'false prophets', so many self-seeking/self-praising christians. and when they start talking, who would you believe? following them blindly and hanging on to every word of theirs is like having faith in them, not faith in God. ever noticed at the beginning/ending of a bible chapter, they sometimes put 'and a who has the faith of b who had the faith of c who has the faith of d' and so on? that's what it means. faith being passed down to others. faith being passed down is actually like..no faith at all. you believe because someone else believe. faith should come from ourselves from God. not someone we depend on to feed us the bible. if that someone whom we depend on falls, we fall too. because our base is based on them and our base is not strong.

guess what i'm trying to say is, have your own faith. don't blindly follow everything other christians say.

this has been on my mind for a while now. just thought i'll like to share it out. i don't know if i managed to present my point strongly though..

i am in love with flyleaf..

it's merdeka week!

2009-09-05T14:20:00.002+08:00

happy independence day!! (sorry i'm late) [insert exam excuse here]

2009-08-19T17:46:00.002+08:00

there was a fight outside my school again. it was the chinese vs malay kind of fight. some of my classmates were involved. and they are christians. -.-

i feel like all these fights are really totally uncessary la. i understand that chinese and malay have something against each other but neither side ever tried to understand each other and instead act upon instinct and selfishness.

and what's more chinese always points the finger to malays and malays always points their finger at the chinese. when both side pun ada salah.

''but Jesus bent down and began to write on the ground with his finger. when they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them. 'If any one of you who is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her''' John 8:7

and the dumbest thing is that joining a fight (even though it make one feel cool and macho and proud and strong and.....) gets one hurt. those 15 minutes of adrenaline running through ones veins could really cause him/her some injury that might last a long time.

think about it people. violence isn't worth. it for settlement. you wanna fight be my guest and fight through dota (like how garry put it)

'a fool is quick-tempered. but a wise person stays calm when insulted.'' Proverbs 12:16

2009-08-18T17:38:00.003+08:00

my classmate converted to a muslim.. he was a buddist before..

i feel like a lousy christian. there are so many unsaved friends of mine, and yet i do nothing about it. because i get so caught up with my life. because i'm so overcomed with the fear and embarass-ment of sharing the gospel to my friends. because i'm afraid of the rejection and awkwardness that might come..

i know i'm in this school for a reason. but i'm not 'carrying out my purpose' as well as i should.

there's always talks about sharing the gospel, about stepping out in faith, about the end time and the other usual-famous-topics in relation. and it has always been in practically everyone's spirit, the experience of telling God that we'll step out in faith, we'll preach to our family/friends, we'll be on our best behaviours as so to be an example, and then after a few days the fire just burns out and then we'll not really carry out our promises to God.

imagine God's breaking heart everytime we promise that we'll 'go to the ends of the earth for You' and the next day act as if we don't know Christ.

i asked my friend what made him wanna convert. he said that he experienced dreams about muslim-ity a few times and he believes that it was God or something like that..

and i wanted to challenge him as to saying that the devil gives us dreams too, not only God.

but i didn't..

and after that i went to the library and sat there for a while thinking about this whole issue..

why didn't God give my friend dreams about christian stuff..

why didn't God give every single unbeliever dreams that He is Lord of all..

they probably would have repented of their unbelief and turn to Him.

and i got the answer.

God is the most powerful in this entire universe. He can do everything we weak humans can't do. He can send the whole wide world the exact same dream of everyone bowing to Him and proclaiming He is Lord. but He choosed not to.

there's a reason for us to be alive other than just to believe. otherwise we christians would be taken up to heaven the moment we believe in Him.

God can make the whole world believe in Him by force. but, He wanted us christians to share the gospel. that's why we're alive.

God wants us to share the gospel even though He Himself is mighty and can instantly make everyone believe. but sharing the gospel takes courage and faith. and we mature more spiritually when we share. i don't know about you, but between baby christian and matured christian, even though both are saved, matured christians are way better. for obvious reasons.

and the sad thing is we're all wasting our life away not willing to go up to a friend and talk about Salvation. and we're disappointing God and letting Him down. and the selfish thought of fear of being laughed at and doubt of the responds always tugs at us when we wanna share. but in this whole life, what really matters.. what others think of us or what God thinks of us..

2009-08-16T00:07:00.003+08:00

my phone got into a car accident just now.. at 10.37am outside my house. basically dropped my phone on the road when i was getting into uncle's car and then my uncle ran over it. i know, so dumb.. -.- anyway, i'm using a phone from my mom's office now. lousy but it works. but i lost like half my contact. and somehow i lost those contact that i kinda use more often.. so if you see your names below or (if i missed out any) msg me sometimes, gimme your number again. sorry to bother. my number's still the same though.

jess chok
daniel chen
my sis's kk number

i was gonna put samson's number in but then he msged me liao.. and obviously it's him.. nvm..

can someone give me david gan and justin chen's number?

and teacher roseline and teacher kenneth..

and evon and jons and luzeey and rica..

on a brighter note, school gave me 2 pens cz i got 38% for my add maths.. =D -.- hannah got 4 pens cz she passed. -.-

hey it's gel pen. expensive de lo..

they even had a pretty ribbon tied round it. it soo made my day that day.. haha

2009-08-05T16:47:00.005+08:00

i'm being home quarantined from school till monday... my classmate (umara) contracted h1n1 and went to school unknowingly and probably hopefully not spreaded all the virus around the class. another classmate (izzat) had fever and started vomiting in school..

i'm still well and healthy and bored though.. i don't know if i'm a carrier of h1n1, i sit 1 table away from umara..

it's a good thing that ivy's not sick anymore. she sits directly behind umara..

i don't know if i'm allowed to go eklektos this week. i'm not allowed to go tuition currently.. =(

well look on the bright side sam, at least you get holiday....

God gave us time. So?

2009-07-29T18:05:00.002+08:00

calvin quoted from someone:

'if you can remember a time in your life whereby your spiritual life is better than in your current state, you're backsliding.'

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there's so many things swirling through my mind right now. what to do how to do when to do what? exam's over (finallyyyy) but i still find myself overwhelmed with the chaotic schedule and additional things to do.. like.. 3 notice boards.. prayer meetings.. rr.. seekers.. seekers additional activities? doulus.. discipleship.. complete phy and chem notes..

i wish i haven't so many things to do and be stressed out on. i wanna focus on my studies.. (duh..)

and the most hateful thing about having everything going on is that i tend to lose the peace i seek and long from God. (ah yes, the devil's way of seperating mankind from God is through busy-ness) have any of you felt that way? i feel unexplanably different when i'm busy doing this or that, even though if it's something for the Lord, like..rr..seekers.. i feel chaotic sometimes.. and like.. i don't feel...peaceful.. like like..something left.. peace left? i don't know howda say.. >.< heh..

and i feel that same way everytime i don't make use of my time to glorify God. and i feel guilty. like.. i just wasted the time God gave to me.. example would be..talking in class when no teacher? being on the computer for no beneficial reason? watching tv.....etc..

maybe i just think too much.. or maybe i'm too much of an introvert that i don't like talking to people or handling crowds.. or maybe i'm too selfish that i spend my time pleasing myself instead of God and He's trying to tell me that..

yea, masa itu emas.. God gave us 24 hours a day (alot actually, if you ask me) and how much do we give back to God? bible says give back 1/10 of what God gave you. meaning..2.4 hours a day back to God?

how many times a day do we think of God, of how to glorify Him, of how to bring the lost to Him. how many minutes, how many seconds do we think about God?

everyday i walk past the walkway in school, past teacher's office, past canteen..and God don't run through my mind as often as many other things. sad isn't it? i know i'm not the only one.

humans are too busy with our daily lives to think about God that we forget He's there. and that's the work of the devil. serpent. -.-

yea, just a jumble of thoughts. howdy guys. =)

1 mark to a beautiful A

2009-07-27T17:29:00.003+08:00

i got 79% for my english paper again.. along with hannah.. -.-

me: teacher i write not good meh.. *merajuk*

teacher : *shake head* *corrects herself* *nods head* not good enough..not good enough..

hannah: teacher the essay very good lo...

teacher: yea.. *nods head* *corrects herself* *shakes head* no no good.

astaga teacher don't lie la..... gimme 1 mark and you'll make my day all sunny and bright...

2009-07-23T21:09:00.002+08:00

Lord, let our past remain our past,
let us press on forward.
heal your people, annoint us,
take us to that secret place.
where You have prepared
for those who are weary and tired.

Do not neglect our sorrows.
the scars from before still remains.
and i pray that You will take them away,
for my heart is not for scars but for You.

I know i am far from perfect,
i have yet miles of walking to wisdom.
if this is Your will,
then hear my prayer Lord!
deliver us from ours past.
i wish to start a fresh.

But Lord, Your will be done.
be beside us and hold our hand,
as you take us for a walk.

2009-07-20T15:31:00.003+08:00

i hate my irregular mood swings that controls my thoughts. sorry.. >.< =(

you know you're not completely off yet right..

another emo post?

2009-07-17T22:31:00.004+08:00

i'm not gonna care about whatever you people think about my many emo post. leave me alone..

i feel like giving up. i feel like blaming you. i feel like ignoring that reasoning part in my head and being unreasonable and ununderstanding. even though it's not entirely your fault.

i don't want it to be another part of my life where i would regret.

you don't understand..

i don't know why do i still wish and hope and fanatise on something which seems so far away and out of reach. promises can be broken you know..

yea i'm ignoring that part of reasoning in my brain right now.. blame my hormones.

FUCK?

2009-07-15T17:00:00.004+08:00

did you know that FUCK actually means fornication under consent king?

a long time ago in somewhere in europe or something, population was so many in a country that the king decided to put up a law. no sex at all, including married poeple, unless they get the FUCK pass thingy to have sex..

so my teacher said..

so main point, the next time you hear people say FUCK, it means that they wanna make love with the person..

yes, a wrong world we live in..

wikipedia said : fuck is a word that refers to having sexual intercourse.

Pathetic emails

2009-07-15T16:27:00.005+08:00

i'm sick of people sending me emails like..

"
I'M MOVING TO CANADA!!!!

.......

HAHAHAHA!!! SCARED YOU!!!

It's pretty funny that you opened this cz in the next seven days, you will:

1. Have someone fall in love with you

2. Find a 20.00 dollar note on the ground

3. Go out with the person you like

4. Your best friend will give you a really nice gift

But first, you have to repost this to 20 people with the title: I'M MOVING TO (someplace random)!!!!!

When you're done, press F6 and your crushes name will appear on the screen in big letters.

This is so scary cz it works!!!
"

this is so scary cz it doesn't works. what? the computer is a mind reader and knows who i like. and some particle chemical force in the universe is gonna make sure that all those stuff are gonna happen to me in 1 week. if it doesn't happens then how? who do i sue?

oh btw, it's not funny.. i'm not laughing.. O.o why? are you laughing?

i once received and email on something like this and it said if i don't forward the email then i'll die in 2 days. well that was months ago and i'm still alive. i don't believe that emails determine when i die....

apparantly email lies. and email doesn't even have a mouth...

i bet if i ask the whole world if they forward emails like these, how many times does it actually come true...they'll all come out with a sad disappointed zero answer.

hello people.....

*eats keropok*

i gotta stop eating junk...

does donuts counts as junk? they're chocolate covered.. they're sweet, not junk...

oh who am i kidding..

i don't like cheese so much anymore.. i don't know why...

sour mango rocks!!!

i'm not pregnant.... -.- neither am i old..

2009-06-19T21:39:00.002+08:00

i wish some people would just leave me alone.. feel like my past came back to haunt me.. even though it's just a few simple msges like "hi what are you doing?" or "are you free to chat?"

yea, i'm paranoid of my past.. and even though i prayed once and believed that i was over this issue, i realised i'm not, actually..

and i dunno what to do. i'm living in fear of so many things. yet, God did not give us a spirit of fear, but of power.

but i'm still afraid.. i don't want my past to repeat.

and the only way i see to avoid events from repeating itself is to be biased.

James 2:9 - but if you show favoritism, you sin and are convicted by the law as lawbreakers.

then what am i suppose to do? i would definately rather end the necessary friendship/aquaintance-ship than allow my past year to repeat itself..

a random verse given by edwina while i was typing this emo post up:

1 John 4:4 - You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world.

*sigh* i still dunno what to do though..

sam don't emo ba..-.-

Focus pengetua wa.... (edited)

2009-06-16T15:45:00.003+08:00

since my class is so undisciplined yet 'has potential' according to pengetua,

pengetua said he wanted to see us in bilik gerakan after assembly. O.o all of us were scared he'll marah us or something.. haha..

so we went bilik gerakan.. and pengetua talk/lecture/motivated us on our studies/discipline/attitude and stuff.. and he made my class became his focus. O.o pertama kali..uinah.. but now every single hw/nota that is unfinished and we'll get sent to his office..to either be thrown out from school or stand guard at his office for an entire day like those european guards at the palace that don't move..

it's freaky you know.. every teacher use the "i'll send you to pengetua if you don't finish your hw" line now.. -.- and apparantly pengetua's serious about my class.. we can't even go to the toilet without buku urus diri unlike last time.. lol.. our class also had SKAM meaning 'extra class during school hours' meaning focusing on the science subjects more than usual and less of unimportant subjects? i think.. yea only my class apparantly.. -.-

and i found out that 2 of my classmates kena suspended. O.o initially whole class thought they kena buang.. lol..

2009-06-14T22:58:00.003+08:00

hello......

El Niño (edited)

2009-06-12T22:29:00.003+08:00

if you guys don't know.. El Niño generally means some heat wave thingy that increases temperature..

and Malaysia is having El Niño. >.<>.<

we should have those fans the china women use..so we can bring them to school to use.. since it's freaking hot in school.. with 2 fans for the entire classroom.. -.-

hey anyone wanna try? crack an egg on top of your parent's car (make sure it's clean la) and put butter so the egg won't stick to the car..and leave the car under the sun or something.. wonder if it'll taste nice..

2009-06-12T21:40:00.002+08:00

i lost 1 kg again..
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isn't it horrible..
this is what i get for not satisfying my midnight cravings for food...
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don't emo ba sam.. it's just 1 kg..

My absolutuly awesome dinner

2009-06-09T17:49:00.003+08:00

i'm gonna have chicken wings for dinner later le... =P =P =P -.-

oh guess what...
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i gained 1 kg!!!!!! yay......
*throws a food celebration and gains more weight*
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sorry ba.. gaining 1 kg big deal for me okay.. it's not easy to gain weight...

but then again 1 kg isn't alot..

*sigh*

maybe i should continue my diet of unhealthy junk food....

but well it's unhealthy..-.-

hmmmm.....

playground's alot more dangerous at night..

2009-06-08T17:08:00.007+08:00

had a few family friends over yesterday evening for dinner, since all the mothers wanted to have cooking class by a shanghainese..

and us kids got so bored in my house that we decided to go to the playground outside after dinner.. it was like 9.00+ already by then i think.. haha.. all 11 of us with 2 torchlight ranging from age 6 -17 years old went.

shasha and ing cherng and chealsea and jordan went back to my house after a while, for various reasons...while everyone else stayed in the playground.. hehe.. shasha hurt her leg with the see-saw.. =(

we were playing at the see-saw and wa..punya loud jollie and tasha and chealsea scream.. O.o same family same scream hahaha.. i was afraid the screaming would bother the neighbours.. hehe..

picturesss!!!!

don't kiss me i'm not a les!!

O.o

notice cavan's position. it looks painful.. haha.. he couldn't stand straight right after that. XD

group photo.. jordan and ing cherng and me not in this pic. hehe..

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asia city had discount for times books. bought another 3 =D cheap oh.. yay....